Q: Dear DadBodDom, I’m noticing an influx of elderly and disabled folks shopping for items within the kink space. How can I safely suggest usage, or know what to offer to folks with differing physical abilities? — Accessibility Lover in Kansas City (Missouri)
A: Hello fellow lover! OK, so first things first — thank you. One of my favorite sayings is “We do better when we know better,” and the way to know better is to ask. A common myth is that the elderly or disabled are sexually defunct — and literally nothing could be further from the truth!
Noticing the influx towards kink and BDSM is a result of folks finally allowing themselves an outlet to either gain or relinquish complete control of themselves, or another, during times when they may feel as if they have no control over what their body is or isn’t doing otherwise. Kink, in all forms, is an escape into a world of fantasy and excitement, sensations and full primal sexual freedom.
Just because bodies may operate in different ways most definitely does not mean that amazing and fulfilling sex can’t be had! It’s important to have open and honest conversations with our customers, one on one, about their physical comfort levels or limitations during sex, so we’re able to get them in the right gear to turn limitations into limitless potentials for pleasure.
Positioning aids come in many shapes and sizes, and can truly be available for all budget and experience ranges. Sex slings and supports that basically function as weight redistributors are personal favorites — being able to hold up the weight of the legs with the neck or upper back rather than having to engage muscles and nerves that aren’t fond of engaging in the first place.
Opening our scope of understanding of sex, and how the body responds to stimuli most comfortably can literally change the lives of our customers. Whether it be toys, positioning aids, or personal moisturizers — none of them are replacements for parts of our bodies or our partners’ bodies that don’t function in the ways we’d like. They are true enhancements to not only our sex, but our lives outside of the bedroom. Being empowered intimately shines through your day to day, and everyone deserves to feel that radiance for themselves.
Q: Dear DadBodDom, what do you recommend for vulva owners in terms of cleaning up after their period or intercourse? — VaginaInVirginia
A: Dear VaginaInVirginia — absolutely epic identifier, FYI.
In communities of color, there is a wild influx of straight crap calling itself the ‘Yoni Health’ market. Sprays and oils, herbal ‘pearls’ wrapped in gauze inserted like tampons to ‘strip’ the vaginal canal. Don’t strip her. Don’t season her like a marinara, or dress her like a salad with whatever new vinegar cleanse is trending. Let Gweneth be Gweneth and steam her vagina like broccoli. We’re spitting truth out here.
Water. Regular schmegular water. The vaginal canal does a fantastic job of cleaning itself out through menstruation, but I can understand the feeling-not-so- fresh-thing. I was a girl in the early ‘90s when Massengil commercials controlled the airwaves after all. A standard Clean Stream Enema Bulb is fantastic for flushing out the vaginal canal both after a period or an intimate deposit, and water will not disrupt the natural pH of your body. If a whole shower or enema situation isn’t feasible, consider something like The Dripstick from Awkward Essentials. It’s legitimately a sterile cum sponge on a stick and will change your life by eliminating the drip drop squish squash an afternoon quickie can cause.
Moral of the story? Your vagina is pretty great on its own, so just add water to your flower, inside, and a mild pH friendly soap on the petals, outside.
SE Editor’s note: This new article series, authored by XR Brands’ Josh Ortiz, will help answer questions from retailers and customers. If you have a question you’d like to see featured in Dear DadBodDom, please send them via email to TheDadBodDom@gmail.com and you may see yours answered next!