13 Ways to Switch Up Your Masturbation Routine

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Is your masturbation routine stuck in a rut? You’re gonna want to read this!

While studies have found that the majority of people do masturbate, sometimes we tend to get stuck in the same old routine. While nothing is wrong with having a masturbation routine, as human beings are creatures of habit, sometimes you need to spice things up. And, International Masturbation Month is the perfect time to take your masturbation game to new levels. Why? Because pleasure is a human right and you deserve to experience it in all its forms!

13 Ways to Switch Up Your Masturbation Routine

 

  1. Try a new position.

If you’re someone who tends to masturbate solely on your back or on your front, then flip. Masturbating on your back can feel really hot, as you lay there with your legs spread, but so can laying on your stomach, as you hump your way to orgasmic bliss.

Or, even better, get out of bed and try squatting or standing, or getting on all fours. There’s no right or wrong way to masturbate, and you might find that what you’ve become accustomed to isn’t exactly the best way for you—like, maybe you’ve actually been a legs-over-your-head masturbator this whole time, but you didn’t realize it until you gave it a try.

  1. Get to know your G-spot.

If you have a G-spot and have yet to locate it, stimulate it, or experience the pleasure it can bring to your masturbation routine, the time is now. Although most people with vulvas tend to rely on their clitoris for orgasms, once you start experimenting with your G-spot it can take things in a whole new direction.

Stimulating the G-spot can result in not just a vaginal orgasm, but can also lead to ejaculation. Yes! You can be one of those people who squirts! And, no, squirting is not urine. It may come from the urethra canal, as urine does, but it’s actually a clear liquid that can be released when the G-spot is stimulated for a certain amount of time. Granted, that “certain amount of time,” varies from body to body.

  1. Watch yourself in the mirror.

While this might conjure up that Broad City episode where Ilana props up a mirror above her so she can watch herself masturbate, there’s a reason why this is something worth trying: your genitals are awesome.

I once interviewed legendary sex educator, Betty Dodson, and this was a technique that she suggested because it really does give you a new perspective and watching your genitals respond to such stimulation is pretty hot.

  1. Explore edging.

Oh, edging! That’s exactly what you’ll be saying once you’ve given it a whirl and realized just how fantastic the impact it has on your orgasm. Edging is the practice of bringing yourself as close to orgasm as possible, then stopping. As in, a full STOP. Once the urge to climax has backed down, you do it again. And again. And as many times as you want.

Now, why would someone deny themselves over and over? Simple: it leads to stronger and, for some, even longer orgasms. Like any method of teasing, once you finally allow yourself to give in to pleasure, the experience is extra sweet.

  1. Use genital enhancing serums.

We’re lucky enough to live in a time when so options, in regards to pleasure, are at our pleasure. One such thing that will give your masturbation routine and orgasms an extra kick are genital enhancing serums.

Whilst there are many on the market, I prefer sticking to an organic, body-friendly CBD product. Should you live in a state where marijuana is legal, you can also get your hands on their THC arousal lube. Both are great for those who struggle to orgasm because it puts your genitals at ease, relaxing them, and making climax easier to reach.

  1. Watch porn.

If you’re a visual person, as in visual things tend to stimulate you more than fantasies alone, then try watching some porn. No matter your kink or fetish, there is porn out there for you.

If you’ve never watched porn, but are intrigued as to how it can enhance your masturbation routine, ethical pornographer, Erika Lust and her XConfessions series is definitely something to look in to. Again, Lust has something for everyone and has, most recently, released a new erotic film, “Sex and Love in the Time of Quarantine,” which is more than fitting at the moment.

  1. Try mutual masturbation.

Whether you live with your partner or have been sexting someone who just met on an app, awaiting the day that you can meet IRL, mutual masturbation is a great way to discover not just your body, but the body of the person with whom you’re enjoying it with.

In person, you can practice mutual masturbation side-by-side or by watching each other stimulate your own bodies. If the person you want to mutually masturbate with isn’t physically accessible at the moment, as this sheltering-in-place is still in effect, then Zoom or FaceTime work too. Throw in some dirty talk while you each get yourselves off, and you have a recipe for not just another form of intimacy, but another way to make masturbating even more exciting. 

  1. Use more than one toy a time.

In a world with so many sex toys to choose from, why would you masturbate with just one? If you’re someone who enjoys clitoral stimulation, as well as anal stimulation at the same time, combining a clitoral vibe with a vibrating butt plug, will have you singing Hallelujah in no time! 

  1. Read erotica.

If you’re not a visual type of person and prefer worlds to get you there, so to speak, then reading erotica while you masturbate is a perfect way to enhance your masturbation routine.

Although finding the right erotica might be a trial and error process, similar to porn, there’s something for everyone. Authors like Colette, the Marquis de Sade, and Anaïs Nin are classic erotica writers, but if you’re looking for more current writers, Elena Ferrante and Sierra Simone, among others, also have some pretty hot words out on the market.

  1. Seduce yourself.

Although some moments call for getting in and getting out when it comes to masturbation, it doesn’t always have to be that way. Instead, seduce yourself by putting on your favorite arousing songs, lighting some candles, and donning something that makes you feel sexy. You can make an evening of it. Especially this International Masturbation Month since we’re all stuck at home—you might as well take your time.

  1. Treat yourself to a new sex toy.

When was the last time you bought yourself a new sex toy? If you have to pause, look up, and think, then it’s been too long and you need to spice up your masturbation routine!

The best part about International Masturbation Month is that sex toy retailers will be celebrating too and are likely to have sales (cough, Le Wand, cough!) on selected items. So buy yourself that toy you’ve been eye-spying for months and put it to use. Variation is the spice of life and, frankly, you more than deserve a new toy this year.

  1. Use lube.

If you’ve never heard the term, “wetter is better,” then it’s time to get that thinking into your head. Whether you opt for a dildo to penetrate either your or your partner’s vagina or anus (prostate play, anyone?!) or prefer sticking to external toys that stimulate the vulva and clitoris, lube can make masturbation far more delectable.

The slippery smoothness of a water-based lube is exactly what your masturbation routine needs. Just be wary when purchasing lubes, as silicone-based ones don’t go well with silicone toys.

  1. Aim for other types of orgasms.

Fun fact: there’s more than one type of orgasm out there.

There are U-spot, G-spot, and A-spot orgasms among others! There are also people who can experience nipple orgasms and skin orgasms. And, of course, there are coveted multiple orgasms and blended orgasms. The latter involves experiencing an orgasm with both G-spot and clitoral stimulation at once.

Although it might seem, at first, that these might be difficult to achieve- practice, exploration, patience, and believing in yourself can get you there. The Little Engine That Could didn’t get over that mountain without a lot of determination and patience. But if she could do it, so can you!

 

When you realize there are so many other ways to experience pleasure, it not only takes your physical pleasure to new heights but opens your mind too.


 

13 Ways to Switch Up Your Masturbation Routine By Amanda Chatel originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz

 

 

 

 

 

Pleasure Myths We Want to Put to Bed

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Okay so in school we were taught math, science, reading, you know where I’m going.

Sex education, however, is something that doesn’t necessarily abide by a strictly mandated curriculum (until recently) that isn’t subjective based on country, state, city, etc. The point I’m trying to make is that we have all learned so many different things about our sexuality, many of which may not be true, particularly regarding the pleasure aspect. We’re here to bust some of these myths.

1 – Your vibrator will replace your lover and ruin all partners for you in the future.

Um no. Think of the two as completely separate entities. Vibrators are breakfast, some love chia pudding, some love eggs and bacon, the purpose is likely to fuel you for your day and all can SATISFY. Your lovahh is dinner, this one is more slow and lovely, you often have more time for dinner and enjoy it as well but in a different way because it meets a different kind of need. Both have the same end goal.

Note that you can have breakfast for dinner 😉 If you haven’t already, try bringing your vibrator into the bedroom to show your partner what you enjoy!

2 – Anal will be painful the first time.

Nahhh this doesn’t have to be that way! Some keys to remember are to USE LUBE, make sure you’re with someone you trust, get in a comfortable position (doggy, laying on your stomach, or laying on your side with your top leg slightly bent), and take it slow.

3 – Orgasms need to be vaginal.

Yes, the g-spot and the clitoris are the most common, but did you know that you can also orgasm anally, with your nipples, and from exercising your core? Things can get wild, what a great time to be alive! Be sure you’re getting to know yourself so you can better understand how your climax.

4 – I don’t need to worry about kegel exercises unless I have a baby.

Excuse me no DO YOUR KEGELS! Kegel exercises help relax the vagina, making penetration more comfortable. They might also improve vaginal lubrication, allow more blood to flow into the genitals, increase sexual arousal, and make it easier to reach orgasm.

5 – If you need a vibrator to orgasm, then there is something wrong with you.

Okay first and foremost nothin is wrong with you, ever, regarding anything. You are a complex human being and you are doing your best. Now for the vibrator – orgasm conundrum. First of all, like 40% of women have an orgasm via penis-vagina penetration “almost always” (Medical News Today), the numbers go down from there… You’re not alone and if you need a vibrator to get the job done then you need a vibrator! No shame in that. Take this time to learn about your body and how to teach your partner about your body. Incorporate your vibrator!

That’s it for now! We’ll keep an eye out for other myths to bust.


Pleasure Myths We Want to Put to Bed originally appeared on The Pleasure Center

 

3 Moms On Why Masturbation Still Matters As a Busy Parent

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We want to take some space to celebrate a part of life that often gets overlooked for moms — Self-pleasure.

We live in a culture that often de-sexualizes motherhood. Moms often feel pressured to appear 100% dedicated to their children with little room for their own multifaceted identities. And one massive part of being a human is your sexuality.

So what does it mean to be a mom and to be feeling yourself? There aren’t a ton of nuanced cultural models showing us the way here.

For some inspiration, Louise Head spoke to three moms:

  1. Jo, a wellness blogger and women’s life coach.
  2. Melissa, founder of Sex Positive Families.
  3. Jess, a queer, femme mother of two, about their relationship with motherhood and self-pleasure. Here’s what they have to say.

Why is masturbation vital to you as a busy mom?

Melissa: Masturbation is a huge stress reliever and natural way for me to relax. I wear many hats as an entrepreneur, parent, and partner. Masturbation allows me to spend time immersed in my pleasure and connection to my body.”

Jess: Masturbation helps me tap into the sensual woman in me that doesn’t get to come out and play very often these days.

Jo: A lot of women go through this feeling that I’m a mom now. I can’t pleasure myself. Or, all my pleasure belongs to my children, all my joy belongs to my children, and that mentality was always dangerous to me. One of the things I discovered about masturbation is that it’s something I can give back to myself. It’s a way of honoring my body, of acknowledging my joy. It’s a gift that I can give back to myself. As a busy mom, I deserve not only to feel good physically through fitness or eating well, I not only deserve to feel good through my family life or with my partner, but I also deserve to feel good physically in my body.

How has having kids changed your relationship to self-pleasure?

Jess: Having kids has made me more in tune with my body. My last child was born at home with midwives at my side. The whole experience changed how I feel pleasure because I know exactly where I’m feeling pleasure. Epidurals numb everything, so being able to feel all of my body and muscles contracting gave me a mental roadmap of my body that I can follow when masturbating. Now I know where all the hot spots are!

Melissa: My body has experienced pregnancy and childbirth twice in the last 21 years. As a result, the changes my body has encountered along the journey of parenting have at times led to lower libido, less confidence in my appearance, impacts to my mental health and physical pain related to body changes. Reconnecting with my body during these experiences hasn’t always been easy. I’ve had to be intentional about the time and attention I put toward my pleasure–sometimes related to sex and sexuality, other times focusing in on non-sexual experiences that bring me joy–and not feel guilty about the process. Raising kids and juggling the many other demands within life can sometimes feel in direct conflict with attention to self and pleasure, but I’ve been parenting long enough now to realize that if I’m not taking care of me first, nothing else and nobody else will be cared for. So it’s imperative that I prioritize my pleasure routinely.

We live in a culture that really de-sexualizes moms and often promotes mothers being selfless caregivers who can’t prioritize their own needs. How do you fight that cultural pressure?

Jo: Once you become a mom, there’s this idea that you can no longer be sexy. Birthing a child is technically physical trauma so as a mom you look at your body in a completely different way because of this trauma. Trauma is an event that changes your perception in the world — motherhood and the fact that your body is changing changes the way you see yourself. You no longer see yourself as this sexual creature. I don’t see women like myself with stretch marks or looser skin looking sexy. Magazines and the media don’t label them as hot so how am I supposed to connect with this idea that I can also be sexy?

For me, I think sexy means beautiful, confident, strong and knowing yourself. It doesn’t mean sex to me. It just means this energy of confidence in yourself when you walk into the room.

It took saying, “You know what media and social media? I’m so over this idea that as a mom, I can’t be myself, I can’t celebrate myself. If self-pleasure or stepping into your sexuality is a form of celebrating yourself then why the hell not? Why as a mom am I denied that?” And when I have to ask myself who is denying that [pleasure] from me, I was like, “Fuck that’s myself…I’m the one who hit that subscribe button, and I can unsubscribe to that narrative any time I want.”

Melissa: I’m a big believer that time is always available; it’s a matter of how we prioritize our time. This society does a good job of imposing shame on acts of self-pleasure and sexuality. It also can construct a lot of barriers and stressors that can move us further away from our bodies and our wellness. I remind myself of this regularly, so I don’t internalize shame or guilt if ever I feel too exhausted or out of touch from self-pleasure. I recenter myself by things like journaling, deep breathing and openly communicating what I’m feeling to my partner and those closest to me.

Now that you have kids, what tends to get in the way of masturbation?

Jess: My partner’s changing schedule and the daily grind of chores and general Mom business wears me out. Sometimes I’m just too tired. To make the time I try to schedule it for when I know I’ll be alone. Like in the shower, or while my partner is at work, she works nights, and make sure the kids go to bed on time.

Jo: Are you using it now to cope? That can be one of the things to look out for. There are days where I’m like, “Ah I’m so over today. I just want to masturbate all day long. I just want to make myself feel good. Don’t bother me.” So I think I have to self regulate sometimes and just ask myself, “Am I doing this because I’m pleasuring  myself or am I doing this because I’m trying to run from something?”

I think what can get us in the way of trying to connect with [pleasure] is thinking that our pleasure as a woman is designed for somebody else and is supposed to be given to somebody else and I think that can be dangerous. That messaging has to be reframed and rewritten.

What advice would you offer to other moms who are struggling to reconnect with masturbation and themselves as sexual beings?

Jess: My best advice is to take time for yourself. Especially the stay-at-home mom’s like me. It’s easy to get wrapped up in a routine. And it’s even easier to forget the woman under the Supermom identity. Take time to remember the beautiful things about yourself inside and out. And seduce yourself! Don’t be afraid to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re sexy and deserving of pleasure. Take a hot sensual bath with yummy smelling oils and lose yourself in the moment.

Melissa: I stay connected to sex-positive content and thought leaders like Afrosexology, Emily Nagoski, Erika Lust, and Jet Setting Jasmine, to name a few. Their content challenges me to prioritize my pleasure, stay connected to my body, address old traumas, and it stimulates my senses. I also raise my children in a sex-positive way, which means we’re equipping them with the knowledge and tools that help them understand bodies, consent, pleasure, sexuality, relationships and the world around them without shame or taboo.

Doing so can feel like a rebellious act in this culture, but it’s important that my children position themselves for healthy, satisfying sex lives, regardless of how they choose to pursue and express themselves into their futures. I also regularly incorporate small acts of self-love like writing affirmations to myself and affixing them to my bathroom mirror, relaxing naked after showers for as long as feels comfortable, consuming my favorite foods and drinks regularly, and keeping quality lube on hand.

There is no one way to claim your pleasure. If it feels good, that’s enough. It does not have to be justified, explained or approved by anyone else. Pleasure is your birthright. The more we pursue it as parents, unapologetically, the more effectively we are modeling our value and worth, which can give permission for the children we raise to do the same.

Jo: One of the first things I would say is that motherhood is just womanhood. There’s no need to separate the two. It’s part of a woman’s journey should she choose to embark on that road. Stop isolating yourself as “just a mom” thinking that other women won’t be able to relate, or see you or hold space for you as you talk about certain things.

[Also], I will tell [my kids], “Mom needs about fifteen in her room.” It’s the same as, “Mom needs to take a shower for 15 minutes. Mom needs to take a phone call for 15 minutes.” I think the more mothers can get comfortable with placing boundaries around their time and the more they can communicate that openly with their children, the more the children will be so accepting of it. And they don’t need to know what you’re doing behind closed doors.

After speaking with these insightful moms, it’s clear that culture sometimes pits motherhood against self-pleasure, making you feel as if you have to choose between the two. However, these women are finding creative ways to own their sexuality and integrate it as a beautiful piece of motherhood. For the moms who don’t get asked nearly enough about their own pleasure, how do you tap into that creativity? What really makes you feel sexy? How can you make a habit of saying no to guilt and shame when you need to put your pleasure first?

Maybe you can try out your new line, “Hey, mom needs 15 minutes,” and go have a little date with your fave toy and some lube.


3 Moms On Why Masturbation Still Matters As a Busy Parent originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz

A Look at the Pandemic’s Effect on Fantasies, Masturbation

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In the face of the pandemic, fantasies, sex toys and masturbation have become central to some people’s quarantined sex lives.

COVID-19 and the resulting quarantines have had a significant impact on sexual behavior and expression everywhere. To get a better sense of these changes, the World Association of Sex Coaches (WASC) teamed up with Sex Coach U and conducted a global survey between mid-April and early June this year, called, “WASC Global Survey on the Impact of COVID-19 on Sexual Behavior.” The findings from the almost 1,000 responses to the survey offer valuable insights to anyone working in any sex-related field.

Of most interest to those in the pleasure product industry are the answers to the questions pertaining to fantasies, masturbation and sex toys.

Fantasies

When we asked how often people were having sexual fantasies compared to before the onset of the pandemic, the results indicate a slightly higher incidence of fantasies. While 70 percent of respondents said their fantasies were “not at all pandemic-related or influenced,” it’s also interesting to note some of the other, less popular responses.

Almost 20 percent said their fantasies were offering an escape from the pandemic. One person said, “I have fantasies about meeting someone in the woods.” Someone else responded that the content of their fantasies hasn’t changed, but now “they involve me being out of the house and away from my child.” Another respondent reported, “I have limited options to realize my fantasies, but outdoor sex became more exciting.”

Many people are fantasizing about past loves, while others are focused on fantasies with partners they’re isolated separately from.

For partners who are quarantined separately, “sharing fantasies” was the third most popular way to stay erotically connected among our survey respondents (behind sexting and sending nude or semi-nude selfies to each other).

One of the self-identified polyamorous respondents said, “New sexual smut chats with friends have started — so creativity this way. Fantasy high. Actual interaction lower.”

When asked about the impact of social distancing on their sense of sexual self, their sexuality, or their sexual expression, one person said it has “brought about more curiosity and fantasy.” Another described a heightened need for “sexual experimentation and development.”

Sex Toys

Our survey did not go into a lot of detailed questions about sex toys, specifically, but they still showed up in respondents’ answers to other questions.

In relation to the question regarding the effect of the pandemic on one’s sexuality or sexual expression, one person shared in depth:

“It has given me time to drop deeper into practices such as the jade egg. I notice I am masturbating less to climax but doing more ‘self pleasure’ with my jade egg. We have been more creative with things that we do — for example, we have watched porn together, incorporated food, practiced Shibari, played with exercises from the Wheel of Consent, done 20 minute Tantric massages, blindfolded each other and played with making different sensations with objects.”

One couple appreciated the question that included app-controlled remote toys as an option, as they’ve been enjoying getting creative and hadn’t considered those before. They also said that during the quarantine, they’re “focused on quality and intimacy and super self care/love when we’re on our own.”

Almost 5 percent of respondents reported they and their partners were playing with app-controlled toys. This may indicate an opportunity to market this type of product.

There has also been an increased interest in or curiosity about BDSM, so this may represent another area for which pleasure product retailers could fill a need.

Masturbation

So many people are quarantined apart from one or more of their partners, or were single when the pandemic began. Among those who participated in our survey, almost 20 percent indicated they were quarantined apart, but could still visit periodically. A little over 16 percent said they were quarantined separately and could not visit one another. Around 18 percent of respondents did not have a sexual partner at the time of the survey.

Fewer people seem to be masturbating, and orgasm during masturbation seems to be more elusive during this time period.

But many others are taking advantage of the enforced isolation to enhance their sexuality, often through self-pleasure activities.

One person said they’re enjoying the “time away from work to explore my sexuality. I have orgasmed so much more during this time. I’m more present during sex too because I’m not rushing from one thing to the next.”

Someone else remarked, “I’ve been enjoying myself more thoroughly and exploring ways of pleasuring and loving myself.” Another respondent wrote, “My imagination has been of great help! I have experienced more solo time to play like when I was single and that’s nice.”

Some people are enjoying masturbation, but understandably are still missing partnered sex. One individual reported, “I have time to learn and appreciate my body but I do miss the affection from my boyfriend. Hand play with myself is not the same as my boyfriend’s.”

One respondent wished there would be more emphasis on normalizing masturbation, and not just during quarantine.

People Need More Self-Love Products & Information

Finally, we asked what people felt they needed right now from the global community of sexual health and wellness professionals, and here is a sampling of their answers:

  • “More content on individual sex”
  • “I think an emphasis on how to create/find sensuality without a partner would be strategic and helpful. I think information about self-pleasure/soothing can also be helpful (e.g., materials, strategies, etc). I also think porn literacy might be helpful for folks.”
  • “Solo time, self massage, auto eroticism“
  • “Tips on connecting non-physically”
  • “Additional toy options, podcasts”
  • “Advice on ways to connect sexually outside of ‘traditional sex.’”
  • “Ideas or guidance for how to approach dating when physical contact is not allowed”
  • “More sex toys … where I live there’s no free giveaways and I’m really broke ahah … and more discussion about being single and coping with your sexuality during the confinement! It’s annoying, on a lot of websites or pages they only give advice to couples to ‘spice it up’ with toys or cope with being confined together. But what about having to spice it up with yourself? And not being able to flirt IRL? Have sex?”
  • “For sex shops to open.”
  • “A new toy. I want a clit pumper”
  • “More information on virtual or ‘distance’ sex technologies”
  • “Ways/techniques/tools on how to maintain intimacy when physical distancing and how to use technology to help with sexual intimacy. Resources for community support and sharing online re: sexual wellness (forums, safe spaces for erotic practices, online courses in sex topics, etc.)”
  • “Quieter vibrators”

Many state governments and health departments are offering advice for having sex safely and they’re recommending people engage in solo sex or virtual sex whenever possible, instead of in-person partnered sex, in order to reduce their risk of contracting or passing the COVID-19 virus. This means more people are likely to reach for a pleasure product to meet their erotic needs.

There is so much opportunity right now for pleasure product retailers and other sexuality professionals to offer their assistance to consumers who are searching for ways to stay erotically alive and connected.

A Look at the Pandemic’s Effect on Fantasies, Masturbation by Dr. Patti Britton originally appeared in XBIZ

How to Deal with Sexual Side Effects of Your Meds

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‘Sexual side effects’ – if you take prescriptions medications, know someone who does, or have seen commercials for them, odds are you have heard this vague phrase. So, what does it mean? What makes them happen? What can we do about them? Let’s take a look at sexual side effects, their causes, and some fun tools that can help you navigate them and maybe find some new routes to pleasure.

Sexual side effects primer

First off, side effects are effects medications have on the user that are unrelated to the reason they are taking the medication- kind of like a bonus, but not a good one.

Lots of medications can cause sexual side effects, these include – but are not limited to –

– Anticonvulsants

– Antidepressants (SSRIs, MAOIs, Tricyclics)

– Antihistamines

– Anti-hypertensive medications

– Anti-manic medications

– Anti-psychotic medications

– Benzodiazepines

– Beta-blockers

– Birth control

– Opioid painkillers

Now that we are clear on the concept of ‘sexual side effects’, and some of the medications that can cause them, let’s get specific as to what exactly they look like. The term “sexual side effects” typically refers to the following:

– Loss of libido

– Erectile dysfunction

– Vaginal dryness

– Genital numbness

– Delayed orgasm

– Anorgasmia (Inability to orgasm)

How does a wand massager help coping with sexual side effects?

When it comes to navigating sexual side effects, we’re happy to inform you that you have options.  You could talk to your doctor about finding a different medication that works for you, without causing the unwanted side effects. However, you may not want to do that if you are happy with the positive benefits of your medication.  In that case you may, instead, want to figure out how to enjoy your sex life and continue taking your medications.  Luckily, especially in cases of genital numbness, delayed orgasm, and anorgasmia, vibrating massagers and their attachments, can be part of the solution.

We’d like to offer you some suggestions. First things first, though, let’s talk anatomy!

Pleasure anatomy beyond the usual suspects

For many people dealing with sexual side effects, it can feel like the stimulation that had previously been the key to their orgasm suddenly no longer works.  This can leave folks at a serious loss of pleasure. However, while lots of folks know to stimulate their clitoris or their G-spot, many don’t know about all the other potential pleasure makers right in that area!

In 2014 an Italian study was released about the clitourethrovaginal (CUV) complex – the area encompassing the clitoris, the vagina, and the urethra – as a great source of orgasmic pleasure. This study was sadly lost in a deluge of publicity claiming that it proved the G-spot “doesn’t exist” when in actuality, what it did was to call for recognizing the entire group of sensitive areas as key to the orgasmic process rather than focusing in on one point. The study noted that “Compared to the male erogenous zones, those in the CUV complex are much more variable and complex, and also varies from woman to woman depending on the hormonal cycle.”  Voila! The internal clitoris was “discovered”.

– The most important takeaways from this study include:

– The internal clitoris is huge and what we refer to as the G-spot is a small part of the expansive CUV region

– The urethra can also be stimulated for pleasure

The perineal sponge, known as the PS-spot to some, is a spongy cushion of erectile tissue between the vagina and rectum, is a sexual hotspot that most of us haven’t even heard of and can be another source of pleasure.

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So essentially, there are places in the entire genital region that trigger pleasure.  Let’s take a moment to remember that bodies vary from person to person. So while some folks may find their orgasms can be triggered by perineal sponge or urethral stimulation, others may find that G-spot or clitoral stimulation is their money spots.

Bringing in the tools!

One of my biggest recommendations for folks coping with genital numbness, delayed orgasm, or anorgasmia is always large, strong, wand style massagers. This is because of their ability to deliver incredibly strong vibration to large areas.  Wand massagers are often substantially stronger than what folks are used to and that sheer power can be enough to get you past the hurdle of your meds. Additionally, large wands cover more surface area than traditional vibrators which may result in stimulating areas you haven’t stimulated before – like the vaginal opening, the urethra, or the perineal sponge.

A whole new world

An important thing to remember while navigating sexual side effects is that you are exploring uncharted waters. The orgasms you experience may feel different than you are used to, just as how you used to reach them may be completely different than the ways you’ve reached orgasm in the past. In JoEllen Notte’s sex and depression research, participants have described their orgasms as “in my body but not my brain,” “more subtle,” and simply “not the same.”  Remember, you’re exploring what is happening for your body now. Don’t get hung up on what you think “should” happen. Think of it as an adventure and find all the routes to pleasure you can.


How to Deal with Sexual Side Effects of Your Meds originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz

5 Ways to Stay Home and Play with Yourself

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Listen, you might be going complete bonkers right now being cooped up inside. And, hey, we GET IT. Staying inside is wretched and depletes our vitamin D (pun intended, because sorry it’s rough out there). We need something to lift our spirits that doesn’t involve getting a crooked spine from watching ninety hours of Netflix.

Enter orgasm. Orgasm creates a magnificent cocktail of pleasurable hormones in your brain. It’s like mother nature’s blessed Xanax. Anxiety is naturally relieved when the brain is flooded with oxytocin and dopamine. It helps to bring down your stress levels and give you a sense of peace.

An orgasm is legitimately good for your health. It makes your skin look better, it improves mood, and it brings down anxiety levels. Not to mention it boosts immunity. Hello, we’re literally trying to stave off an infectious virus up here. ANYWAY, masturbation is amazing and everyone should be doing it. If you’re having anxiety, grab your vibrator! Get that oxytocin flowing, girl.

Here are the top 5 things you should try while you’re social distancing and have way too much time on your hands.

  1. Edging

Edging is a technique wherein you bring the body into the near-eclipse of sexual release, only to bring yourself back down again. And then repeat! Also known as “orgasm control,” it can make serious intense orgasms (once you get there).

It is an ongoing state of heightened arousal. When your clitoris is at attention due to previous stimulation, your whole body begins to feel desperate for an orgasm. Start by masturbating as slowly as possible. Use your vibrator on the lowest possible setting (and experiment with different vibration patterns). When you’re about to climax, pull it away. Have a sip of water or get up and stretch your legs. Take a minute to take big, deep belly breaths. Then, start all over again. When you’re first starting out, try doing this three times before giving yourself over to orgasm.

It may sound hard, and that’s because it kind of is. It takes practice. You’re in isolation. You have time to perfect this. We promise it is worth it — like “blast your effing face off” worth it.

  1. Erotic Hypnosis

Erotic hypnosis might sound like some new age-y nonsense, but it’s actually quite a lovely, sexy thing to try. It can help to center you and get you out of your head and into your body. Lord knows we all need that right now, you know?

Erotic hypnosis is the use of hypnotic trance states to up the ante on your sexual experiences. This can be done solo (or with a partner). In this practice, you use your creative, glorious brain to manifest pleasure in the body. Again, this might sound a little nuts, but the brain is seriously the biggest sex organ we have.

Just because you’re hypnotized (technically), it doesn’t you become a zombie. You’re still very much in control, you’re just relaxed and taking an erotic journey. Listen to an erotic story or meditation while breathing into your body. Through the power of suggestion, your body can/ will respond to the pleasure your brain experiences. Some people can even orgasm! There are lots of dope YouTube videos designed for this – check them out here.

  1. Masturbating while doing your kegel exercises

When you’re trapped at home, masturbation may feel like the only thing you really can do right now. But that shouldn’t mean you just pop into bed for two minutes and rub one out. This is an opportunity to try new stuff. Don’t waste it!

While masturbating, try giving your kegel exercises a go. Kegels are used to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, a sling-like set of muscles that hold in vital organs and muscles such as your uterus, vagina, and intestines. When peeing, try stopping the flow of urine for a second. The muscles that stop the flow are your pelvic floor muscles — medically known as pubococcygeus muscles (PCs for short). Strong kegels can contribute to stronger, better orgasms. Why? Because when they are toned, they can help to engage your entire clitoral structure. with enough practice, doing kegels during intercourse have even been shown to assist some female-bodied people in having orgasms during intercourse.

To give this a go during masturbation, try inserting a dildo or kegel ball into the vagina while using your wand on your clitoris. Squeeze on the toy while it’s inserted. This can create a whole new sensation that is pretty explosive.

  1. Exploring new erogenous zones

There are so many erogenous zones on the body and yet we tend to stick to the nipples and clitoris. With everyone trapped inside, it’s time to tap into your pleasure potential. Take an afternoon to explore a new zone of the body. Learning what brings you pleasure is key to having good sexual experiences.

For example, try engaging the lower vaginal wall, including the very opening of the vagina. This area is rarely explored and it’s a real shame. It’s packed with nerve endings. The bottom of the vaginal opening, called the fourchette, is highly sensitive. Try caressing this area with a wand vibrator. Since it’s a new spot, you may want to try something with a little less intensity.

  1. Erotic self-focus

Have you ever been having sex (partner or solo) and realized that you’re really focused on yourself — in a good way? Like you can’t stop thing about how sexy you are? Well, that is called erotic self-focus. If you’ve never done this, we highly recommend it. It can help with body confidence, heightened arousal, and general sexual badassery.

Where to start: set up a mirror in front of yourself before masturbating. Be sure that you can see your whole vulva. Grab a wand vibrator and start masturbating. Stay as focused on your body as you possibly can. Pay attention to where you’re touching yourself and what feels good. Learning exactly where you like to be touched on/in your clit, vulva, and vagina can help you gain true knowledge of your pleasure points.

Plus, getting turned on by your own body is super hot. You’re sexy, honey. You deserve to be horny for yourself.


5 Ways to Stay Home and Play with Yourself originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz

 

Understanding and Embracing the Aging, Female Consumer

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In today’s flourishing sex toy market, excitement and enjoyment aren’t difficult to find. When consumers are seeking unique sensations or a newfound kink, they can easily count on their favorite retailer or online store to provide a plethora of products and a few sex-ed lessons to boot from knowledgeable sales reps.

But for every youthful, enthusiastic shopper, how many more are suffering silently on the sidelines and in need of a solution that’s not as simple as buying a new bullet?

Medical reports show that three in four women will experience dysapreunia, more commonly known as painful sex, due to dozens of conditions such as endometriosis, vaginismus, post-partum issues and pelvic floor dysfunction. Vaginal dryness and atrophy are also common challenges, especially during menopause.

While our bustling intimate products industry is ready to tackle the millennial-focused orgasm gap, we’re often lacking in advice and solutions for middle-aged and senior women. This vital group of female consumers is just as capable and deserving of a vibrant, delightful sex life, whether solo or partnered.

As technological luck would have it, we’re entering a new era of solutions targeted at treating painful sex. CBD extract holds incredible potential to provide natural relief and increased pleasure for women facing age-related barriers to intimate wellness.

A little reproductive system sex-ed and a selection of CBD-based products can go a long way in returning a middle-aged or senior woman to a rightfully enjoyable sex life.

Understanding and Embracing the Aging, Female Consumer

The majority of women begin menopause around age 51. The body is no longer of optimal age to bear children, so around this time, a woman’s ovaries will shut down and her menstrual periods will cease.

We’ve all heard of menopause and generally associate it with women in their senior years. However, you might be surprised to find that many of your 40-something female customers — and even some women in their mid to late 30s — are already dealing with age-related sexual health issues.

Perimenopause arrives anywhere from a few months to four to seven years before a woman’s last menstrual cycle. Most women can expect to see signs of perimenopause sometime in their 40s, though it’s not entirely unusual to encounter hormonal and cyclical changes around the mid-30s.

During this time, women can experience menopause-like symptoms like hot flashes, sleep disturbances, irregular periods or depression and anxiety due to the fluctuation of estrogen. Perimenopause is the body’s way of signaling that full menopause and ovarian shutdown is on its way, albeit very gradually.

With this natural stage of life comes a decrease in estrogen, which often leads to sexual symptoms many women aren’t comfortable discussing, or even sure how to address, with a retail sales rep.

As experts in selling sex education and pleasure-focused experiences, it’s imperative that we also sell our customers on appreciating every stage of womanhood. From the time we’re born, women’s bodies move through an incredible array of changes: puberty and the growth of our curves, menstruation, the discovery of our sexuality and orgasmic potential, and the life-changing transformation of childbirth and motherhood.

As sex-positive pleasure professionals, it’s truly our duty to celebrate women as they age and infect their attitudes with a contagious joy toward middle-aged and senior sexuality.

Enhanced awareness of the unique health issues aging women face is essential. Once retailers understand the signs and symptoms of age-related painful sex, their intuition can guide even the shyest of consumers to a comfortable solution with CBD extract.

Menopause and Painful Sex

The North American Menopause Society claims that between 17 percent and 45 percent of postmenopausal women say they find sex painful. Is it any wonder that the pleasure products space desperately needs to rise to these women’s needs?

Decreasing estrogen leads to thinner vaginal walls and dryness, turning sex from a once-anticipated activity to a cause for fear and anxiety. During penetration, discomfort can range from feeling uncomfortably dry or tight to severe pain. Post-sex, burning or soreness in the vagina or vulva are just as common.

If left untreated, a combination of insufficient lubrication and inflammation can cause tearing and bleeding of the vaginal walls, leaving women vulnerable to infection.

What’s worse, the more painful, unbearable sex a woman has, the more her anxiety is likely to trigger vaginismus. This involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles, caused by anticipation of pain, only continues the ugly cycle of nightmarish intercourse.

Intimate CBD Products for Decreasing Pain and Increasing Pleasure

CBD can be Goddess-sent for perimenopausal and menopausal customers — or anyone experiencing painful penetration and intimate health problems — who have yet to find light at the end of the tunnel.

CBD, short for cannabidiol, is a non-psychoactive, non-psychotropic compound extracted from the cannabis plant. It provides all of the pain and anxiety relief of other cannabis products without any negative side effects or the “high” feeling typically associated with medical marijuana.

For millions of women who suffer from sexual pain, genital inflammation or pre-sex anxiousness, CBD can provide welcomed relief in a natural, herbal remedy without a prescription.

When taken orally, CBD extract provides natural anti-anxiety properties. It can help calm the mind and get anxious consumers out of their heads, so to speak, and back into the moment. Many consumers who struggle with overall mental health problems, like depression, anxiety or ADHD, have felt more energetic, focused and positive after imbibing an appropriate, daily dose of CBD.

CBD is also an amazing, natural anti-inflammatory and can help reduce pain throughout the body. Studies have shown CBD to be anti-arthritic and capable of reducing inflammation in the joints and muscles.

For overall mental and full-body physical relief, CBD in the form of edible tinctures, pills or treats like gummies is your customers’ best bet.

For more specific pain in the genitals, especially during sexual activity, you can additionally recommend a CBD lubricant formulated for safe internal use. Customers can always combine an edible extract with a penetration-friendly lube to maximize pain relief and pleasure.

CBD lubricants bring all the benefits of cannabidiol right where aging women need it most: in their vulva tissue and inside the vagina.

When applied on the genitals as a sexual lubricant, CBD acts as a natural anti-inflammatory and can help reduce pain from inflammation, allowing for more comfortable and pleasurable touch and penetration. Additionally, as it soaks into the skin, CBD can relax the vaginal muscles and calm the nerves that perceive pain.

Though it hasn’t been fully proven whether CBD can increase blood flow, many users have reported feeling the related effects of better genital circulation: increased sensitivity to pleasurable touch, higher arousal levels, and production of their own natural lubrication.

Whenever possible, point your customers to a water-based CBD lubricant. Water-based CBD lubes are designed specifically for sexual play and intercourse. For starters, they’re completely safe to use with condoms and all sex toy materials. They offer quick absorption to the localized area through the vulvar and vaginal mucosa, maximizing CBD’s therapeutic effects. They’re also more likely to be pH-balanced so as not to interfere with the sensitive, acidic environment inside the vagina, which can potentially lead to yeast or bacterial infections.

However, be aware that CBD isn’t a cure-all. If your customers are experiencing deeper-rooted issues, like severe physical or emotional pain or suffering the effects of past trauma, consider referring them to a sexual therapist or qualified clinician. In fact, many AASECT-certified medical doctors and sex therapists are big believers in the amazing benefits of CBD!

CBD: Reinventing the Wheel for Sexual Pain Sufferers

As more aging women enter our retail shops and peruse our web stores, it’s our responsibility as intimate wellness experts to decipher their important sexual needs. While CBD extract might have begun as a 420-themed novelty, this proven medicinal remedy has quickly proven itself as a powerful tool for natural pain relief.

Your female customers age 40 years and older might not need another vibrator to solve their sensual woes. A CBD lubricant or edible might be just the ticket to helping aging women reclaim their right to incredible sex.


Understanding and Embracing the Aging, Female Consumer by Dr. Sadie Allison, Founder & CEO of GoLove CBD Lubricant, originally appeared in XBIZ

Classic Brands Care Packages

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These Classic Brands Bundles are the manufacturer’s way of letting you know that they support YOU, the retailer.

These Care Package mini bundles represent the best of the best of the 3 top-selling Classic Brands Collections – Coochy, CG, and Max – and each bundle is 1 sku so ordering is a breeze.

As a bonus, they include anywhere from 25% to 35% bonus of foils to gift to the end consumer. Yep, you read right 25% to 35% worth of foils to GIVE AWAY to any end-user however you see fit.

Whether you are just reopening, sprucing up the store or presentation table, looking to dip your toe into the Classic Brands waters, or just like to hook your customers up with free stuff, you really can’t go wrong with any of these Care Packages.

 


Max bundle 1

Max Care Package Contains 2 of Each:

  • Prolong Gel Regular Strength 1.2oz
  • Arousal Gel Regular Strength 1.2oz
  • Prolong Gel Extra Strength 1.2oz
  • Arousal Gel Extra Strength 1.2oz
  • Prolong Spray Regular Strength 1.2oz
  • Command Gel 1.2oz
  • Prolong Spray Extra Strength 1.2oz
  • Vitality Cream 3oz
  • Relax Anal Desensitizer 1.2oz
  • Satisfaction Masturbation Cream 3oz
  • PLUS 72 units of promo postcard with foils – FREE with purchase of the Max Care Package Mini Bundle

Max bundle 2


Coochy Bundle 1

Coochy Care Package Contains 2 of Each:

  • Shave Cream Au Natural 7.2oz
  • Shave Cream Be Original 7.2oz
  • Shave Cream Frosted Cake 7.2oz
  • Shave Cream Floral Haze 7.2oz
  • Shave Cream Island Paradise 7.2oz
  • Shave Cream Sweet Nectar 7.2oz
  • Shave Cream Peachy Keen 7.2oz
  • Fragrance Mist Be Original 4oz
  • Fragrance Mist Floral Haze 4oz
  • Fragrance Mist Island Paradise 4oz
  • Fragrance Mist Sweet Nectar 4oz
  • Fragrance Mist Peachy Keen 4oz
  • After Shave Protection Mist 4oz
  • Body Oil Mist 4oz
  • Intimate Feminine Spray 4oz
  • Sweat Defense Protection Lotion 3.4oz
  • Fragrance Mist Frosted Cake 4oz
  • PLUS 72 units of promo postcard with Foil – FREE with purchase of the Coochy Care Package Mini Bundle

Coochy Bundle 2


CG Bundle 1

CG Care Package Contains 2 of Each:

  • Pole Polish Naked 4oz
  • Pole Polish Strawberry 4oz
  • Pole Polish Vanilla 4oz
  • Blow Me Oral Sex Gel Sugar Rush 2oz
  • Blow Me Oral Sex Gel Berry Burst 2oz
  • Blow Me Oral Sex Gel Mint 2oz
  • Lip Tease Stimulant Strawberry 1oz
  • Lip Tease Stimulant Watermelon 1oz
  • Lip Tease Stimulant Mint 1oz
  • Oh My Stimulant Warming 1oz
  • Oh Yes Stimulant Cooling 1oz
  • Oh Gee G Spot Stimulant 1oz
  • Oh Wow Tightening Gel 1oz
  • Tush Tease Anal Stimulant 1oz
  • Tush Ease Anal Relaxant Ethyl PABA 1oz
  • Tush Ease Anal Relaxant Au Natural 1oz
  • PLUS 72 units of promo postcard with foils – FREE with purchase of the CG Mini Bundle

CG Bundle 2

Love Your Labia – Why Your Private Parts Are Perfect Just the Way They Are

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Femmes today are surrounded with messages of empowerment and encouragement from all sides, and when someone tries to stop us from spreading the gospel of self-power, there’s an army waiting on Twitter to come to our defense. It’s about time that gender equality became the #1 social media trend!

But for every body-positive Instagrammer, there’s a negative beauty fad lurking in plain sight, just waiting to tear down our self-confidence. One of those nasty trends is labiaplasty – plastic surgery for a super important part of your vulva – the labia.

Getting to Know the Female Anatomy

JIC you’re not aware, the vulva comprises the entirety of your external sex organs: the clitoris, clitoral hood, urethral opening, and labia.

In humans, there are two pairs of labia: the labia majora (or the outer labia) which are larger and fattier, while the labia minora are folds of skin between the outer labia.

The two types of labia – probably better known as the “vagina lips” when you’re talking to your girls – help protect the sensitive vaginal opening and clitoral area while also providing an awesome amount of pleasure potential during sex.

What is Labiaplasty?

Generally, a labiaplasty usually involves altering the inner labia, which are those “curtain” like flaps of skin that lead directly into your vagina.

Some labia are tiny, barely-there labia that are almost completely hidden by the outer labia, while others have longer, inner labia that extend down far enough to be seen outside the outer labia. Many inner labia are even different sizes, with one side hanging lower than the other.

In short, labia are a bit like boobs. It’s extremely rare that both sides are ever perfectly even, and there are so many variations and varieties that it’s impossible to describe them all. Rest assured, regardless of the length, your labia are perfect- exactly the way they are.

Unfortunately, your precious labia are also the target of the plastic surgery industry, which is trying to convince us that if our inner labia aren’t pink, tiny, and even, it’s time to go under the knife — yikes!

Here’s what we think about that- We think your beautiful, unique, and pleasure-giving inner lips are perfect just as they are — like the rest of your gorgeous body parts and we’ve gathered some fantastic reasons why you should always give plastic surgeons the snub in lieu of learning the language of labia love.

  1. Pink or Brown, Big or Small — They’re Natural, so Love Them All

To quote feminist hero Lady Gaga – “Baby, you were born this way!” Whatever your vulva and labia look like right this very moment, at whatever age and stage of life you may be, is exactly how they’re supposed to look.

Grab a mirror and perform a sensual inspection of your vulva. Notice the different colors and textures that change as you move from your outer labia up to your clitoral hood and then down to your inner labia and perineum.

Get acquainted with all your folds, and realize that you’re looking at a functional body part that was created to serve one of the most important events in the universe: to provide pleasure and create life. That’s sheer and utter POWER!

 

  1. Don’t Take Porn Star Bodies at Face Value

Looking to mainstream porn stars for sexual beauty inspo is like expecting to find a reachable workout goal by attending a high-fashion runway show. What you see in media, advertising, and even porn isn’t real — it’s a visual fantasy.

Porn stars often bleach their genitals, turning normally brown or dark red b-holes and vulvas a lighter shade. They also tend to remove body hair, and some even shell out thousands for labiaplasty, breast enhancements, and cosmetic fillers for larger lips and defined cheekbones.

While we respect every woman’s decision to transform herself into an image of beauty that appeals to her tastes, be sure to do some serious thinking before you consult a surgeon. Many women remove facial fillers and breast implants years down the line, but you can never grow your labia back.

 

  1. Labiaplasty is Permanent

Beauty trends that empower women to have fun playing with their look without any underhanded body-shaming are tons of fun.

Want to micro-blade your brows for some dramatic eyes? Go for it! Love multi-colored mermaid hair? Sounds like a gorgeous trip to the salon to us! Digging today’s pin-up-pretty make-up with vibrant red lips and huge fake lashes? Babe, we know you’re gonna kill it!

The difference between a trip to a make-up artist or a hair salon and an appointment with a labiaplasty surgeon is this: a dye job or pro make-up are meant to enhance what you already have in the name of fun. When you’re done playing grown-up dress up, make-up washes off and hair dye washes out.

Labiaplasty permanently changes a part of your body that’s uniquely you and sacred. You were given a beautiful vulva at birth, and once you alter that part of yourself, there’s no going back.

  1. Your Labia Contributes to Sexual Pleasure

If you’re still struggling to love the labia you see in the mirror, pay extra attention to those inner lips the next time you have sex or pleasure yourself.

Your labia is full of sensitive nerve endings that can mean the difference between a run-of-the-mill orgasm (which is, no doubt, still pretty great) and a mind-melting climax that encompasses your entire pleasure zone. In fact, some women need labia stimulation to come!

Using a bit of lube and your fingers, stroke your labia and notice how they become engorged and arouse as you stimulation them. Tease yourself by taking a few minutes to touch only your labia — fingers off your clit for now! Then do the same with your favorite vibrator, using it to tenderly touch your inner lips, moving from the base of your vulva to where your lips meet the clitoral hood. As you near orgasm, keep your labia in the game and those explosive feelings of pleasure will radiate throughout your entire vulva.

Once you realize the orgasmic potential of these extra-special sensual parts, you’ll never dream of changing them again. After all, who wants to cut their pleasure short?


Love Your Labia – Why Your Private Parts Are Perfect Just the Way They Are originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz

Can I Become Addicted to My Vibrator?

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The simple answer to this question is NO, you cannot become addicted to your vibrator.

Merriam-Webster defines addiction as a “compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (such as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal.”

First of all, vibration is not a substance, it is a tool to enhance an experience. While you may enjoy and look forward to the release of feel-good chemicals as a result of orgasm, these are beneficial substances from a healthy source which will not bring you harm. It is akin to the feel-good chemicals released by walking in nature on a beautiful, sunny day.

Next, you will not become tolerant to and need increased amounts of vibe in order to orgasm, although, you may respond best to a certain vibration intensity.

Lastly, use of vibration will not produce withdrawal symptoms. Instead, what you are likely to experience is increased desire to have sex, because good sex begets more good sex!

Vibrator addiction is a myth


Will too much vibe ruin me for non-vibe orgasms?

Rest assured, you will not alter your pleasure nerves with vibration. While numbness from prolonged vibration in one spot at any given play-session can occur (hence, the suggestion not to use the vibe for more than 15 minutes at a time), the numbness subsides when the vibe is taken away.

There is no right or wrong way to experience an orgasm. The way you enjoy them is up to you. Give yourself permission to take advantage of technology and its many benefits, just as you do in your nonsexual daily activities. For example, you can blend heavy cream with a spoon, or you can use an electric mixer…but it will form stiff peaks easier and faster with electric beaters. Get the picture? The choice is yours.

 

What if vibration is the only way I can orgasm?

That is fantastic! Better to orgasm than not.

Some people are only able to orgasm with vibration, such as people with nerve impairment from spinal cord injuries, Multiple Sclerosis and Diabetes. Sometimes menopausal women will experience shorter, and less intense orgasms.  These people need extra stimulation (and the intensity of vibration seems to fit the bill) to elicit orgasms and there is no shame in that.

 

So, what is the issue?

More often than not, the real issue is that the partner feels left out. Their ego demands that they must give their partner an orgasm in order to be a good lover. But truly, orgasm is the responsibility of the person experiencing it and not the responsibility of their mate.

That said, partners can be invited to assist. Additionally, they can be reassured that there are other vital things they can do…like holding their partner, gazing into their eyes, talking to them, and letting their partners know that they are exciting and loved.

 

Suggestions

If you are bothered by the inability to experience an orgasm without vibe, try removing orgasm as the goal and avoid the usual mode of stimulation that rushes you to a quick orgasm. The problem is that we become so used to quick and predictable responses that we get frustrated and give up if they take longer than expected. So, stay out of your head and merely focus on the enjoyable sensations happening in your body. Slow down, experiment, and let pleasure be your guide.

Use your hands to explore what feels good. If in a relationship, allow your partner to manually and orally pleasure you, giving them explicit instructions on what turns you on. After experimenting, if you then need vibe to send you over the edge to orgasm, by all means, use it. Show your partner how it is done, and if mutually desired, allow them the pleasure of using the vibe on you.

 

Let go of shame! Enjoy your orgasms regardless of how they are experienced.


Can I Become Addicted to My Vibrator? Originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz