Q: Dear Dad Bod Dom, our location has brought in a few ‘fantasy’ dildos – like aliens and tentacles. Sometimes they sell before they are ever put on the peg hooks, which was (and still is) a little unexpected. I guess I didn’t realize there was a market for these types of toys, but now I have questions. 99 percent of these toys are pretty self-explanatory, as they’re dildos or strokers, but the one percent I am entirely clueless about is egg laying. I have literally never heard of this until the last few months, and now it seems I’m asked about carrying ovipositors every couple of days. I feel entirely out of my league here, and I’ve been in the business for over 20 years, so that should tell you something! – Perplexed in Pennsylvania
A: Hi, Perplexed! Please don’t feel out of your league! A couple of decades in this biz is nothing to scoff at. If anything, that gives you far more of an advantage and ability to adapt to these kinky developments than some of your newer counterparts.
By using the word “fantasy” to describe the new emergence of non-human anatomical toys, it lets me know you already get like 90 percent of the gist! We’ve just gotten far more creative about how we fantasize. I’ll make this answer specific to the most unique type of fantasy items on the market. I’ll cover the what, why, where and how, so we all feel just a little more confident and comfortable discussing this new dimension of play with our customers.
So let’s start with what an ovipositor is outside of our industry: a tubular organ in which an insect or fish deposits their eggs outside of their bodies. Breaking it down beyond biology simplifies it to a tube that passes eggs. You can see the picture we’ll be painting start coming together. To translate ovipositor into our language and usage would make them dildos (human-like or fantasy) that can expel an egg into a hole, in a similar way that ejaculating dildos expel lube in or on a body. Most simply put – egg laying dildos.
Ok, but why? Well why the hell not? Fantasy is just that – endless possibilities born from abundant imagination. The idea of breeding, being bred or being a human pie o’ creme, is not a new one. The expansion in interest to different forms of what being bred looks and feels like outside of the scope of human. The where and how fit together like weird little puzzle butts. The where depends on the type of egg. One question matters more than any other regarding the egg, itself. Is it dissolvable? Is it made in a mold with a fully dissolvable food item? If the answer is no – it is 100000 percent not anal safe. If it is not 100 percent fully dissolvable into a gel or liquid form – it is for vaginal insertion ONLY! Never anal.
I happen to be aware of an ovipositor available to our retail partners, called the Larvae under the Creature Cocks line from XR Brands. Since that is the one in stores right now, I’ll be using that one as the example. If your customer buys an ovipositor that only has vaginal eggs – it will 100 percent not hinder the sale to just include the little gem of booty saving bliss: You can make your own eggs!! Safe ones, at that! Advise your customers to pick out some really cool silicone ice molds. You know the ones I’m talking about – circles and skulls and squares and little legos. All it takes is gelatin (agar agar for our vegan friends) and water. Find the right ratio to achieve your desired firmness. Remember it has to be firm enough to survive the insertion.
Once your dissolvable eggs are set, you can use them in any ovipositing dildo! If you feel full enough that it’s time to start working your way down faster than your natural body temperature will allow, laying a heating pad on your lower tummy will cause the egg to melt and be far easier to expel from the body.
As with anything, personal preference plays a major role in the activities. Some may want to be bred and both birth the eggs in the same session. Some may want to experience this completely solo, and some may just want them to be inserted, and are wanting to poop them out after sexy time is over.
At the end of the day, we’re all being fucked, am I right? We may as well find fun ways to fuck ourselves, and now you can help our customers make that safe, affirming, and pleasurable. – TDBD
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