Struggling to arouse your most personal pleasure spot? Sexual wellness writer Amanda Chatel shares some tried & tested ways to get lit with clit stimulation!
Oh, the beautiful, magnificent clitoris. Although once an anomaly, and even now somewhat misunderstood by those who either don’t have one or have yet to educate themselves on it, the clitoris, AKA the clit, is the center of pleasure for the majority of those who have a vulva.
Study after study of vulva owners has found that without clit stimulation, almost 80% of them can’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Granted, this percentage fluctuates a bit based on the study’s pool of participants, but the lesson here is that climax and clit stimulation go hand-in-hand for many.
What is the Clitoris?
The clitoris is, both literally and metaphorically, more than meets the eye. While there is the glan clitoris, the part of the clit that’s outside the body, there is a whole other part—an even larger part—inside.
Comprised of two corpora cavernosa, forming two crura (basically legs) that extend inward, the internal part of the clit resembles a wishbone and can be anywhere from 3.5 to 5 inches long, with a width of 2.5 inches. That’s a lot of behind-the-scenes that make the clit such a powerful erogenous zone. The external part alone is packed with roughly 8,000 nerve endings, with as many as 15,000 nerves throughout the pelvic area.
Clit Stimulation for Beginners
Because there is no one way to stimulate the clit, if you’re new to it (whether it be your own or someone else’s), it’s a good idea to take things step-by-step.
Locate the clit.
Not everyone knows where the clit is and that’s OK! This can especially be the case for those who don’t have one. If it’s your own that you’re trying to locate, a mirror can help. If it’s someone else’s, have them lay on their back and spread their legs so that you can get a good look at the layout of the land. Although clits vary in size and some are more noticeable than others, due to their clitoral hood, it resides at the top of the vulva. If you touch it with your finger, it will feel like a soft nub and with all those nerves, you’ll know you’ve hit the money spot.
For some people with a clitoris, one-quarter or half of the external part might be more sensitive than the other parts. There’s also the chance that some clits are too sensitive for too much pressure, while others need a lot of pressure and aggressive stimulation to get off. Some like tapping, while others prefer circular motions. It’s all about exploring what feels good and what can feel better.
Introduce some clitoral toys.
We’re lucky enough to live in a day and age where the range of clitoral toys is vast and the quality is exceptional. If you find you prefer a vibration type of sensation, then toys like Le Wand Deux, named for its twin-motor, can either directly stimulate the clit or be used to stimulate the surrounding area—a great option for those with sensitive clits that don’t need direct contact to orgasm
Although lube is often thought of as something that makes penetrative sex, both vaginally and anally better, it also makes clit stimulation superior too. While vaginas lubricate when a vulva owner is aroused, clits do not. That’s why having some lube on hand or a clitoral stimulation serum, either while masturbating with your fingers or a toy, is always a good idea. Yes, friction can feel good for some, but for others, it’s the silky smooth ride provided by lube that hits the spot.
7 Creative Ways to Orgasm from Clit Stimulation
While there are more than a few ways to stimulate the clit — showerhead, anyone? — here are seven approaches to get you started.
- Take a bike ride.
When women first started riding bicycles during the Victorian Era there was actual concern that the seat, combined with the bouncing along on the road, would cause women to be climaxing all over town. So, take that bike on a gravel road and see how you feel afterward.
- Use your pillow or mattress.
Have you humped your bed lately? No. Then maybe it’s time to get on that. Both your bed and pillow can stimulate the clit while you writhe in pleasure in your sheets.
- Internal stimulation.
Since we know the clitoris is also internal, stimulating along the wall against your pubic bone and lower stomach (the G-spot area) is another way to achieve pleasure. This internal part of the clit can be reached by a finger or by a toy.
- Look for something around the house.
Listen, with enough creativity, any household item can be used for clit stimulation. Although the showerhead may be the most obvious, take a look at your electric toothbrush—any thoughts? A 2018 survey found that 70% of people with vulvas had used a household item to get off.
- Hump your partner.
From the “sideways saddle” in which you sit on your partner, face away from them and use their bended knee to stimulate your clit, or straddle any part of their body and turn your partner into a playground of orgasm opportunities.
- Do Kegel exercises.
Kegel exercises might not seem an obvious choice for clit stimulation, but it actually is. Clenching and releasing, while strengthening the pelvic floor, is basically like stroking the internal part of the clit.
When you practice edging, either on yourself or with a partner, you bring yourself as close to an orgasm as you can, then stop; as in a full STOP. After a couple of minutes, you do it again to another full stop. You can do this as many times as you want, with the guarantee that when you finally do let yourself or your partner come, the orgasm will be stronger and maybe even longer.
Frequently Asked Questions About Clit Stimulation
Q: Help! I don’t think clit stimulation is working for me. What should I do?
First of all, don’t worry! Sexuality is complicated and what works for some isn’t necessarily going to work for someone else. There can be many reasons why clitoral stimulation might not work for someone: street, medication, sleeping issues, and more.
If you’re not in the moment when it comes to clit stimulation, it can be trying to achieve an orgasm. Stress, anxiety, and other external factors can weigh heavily on one’s mind and make climaxing via clit stimulation but a dream. Medications, too, especially selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can also stand in the way of an orgasm.
If you’ve tried to stimulate your clit, both internally and externally, but it’s just not working for you, don’t fret. It may just be a matter of changing your medication, learning how to be more mindful so you can be in the moment, or exploring other erogenous zones that just might be a better match for what you need to feel pleasure.
Q: Is it possible to over-stimulate the clit?
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Let’s unpack this.
During clit stimulation, the entire vulva becomes aroused and engorged with blood. All those thousands of nerve endings are tantalized and working their magic to make sure you have a pleasurable orgasm. Once you do, the clitoris can become sensitive. You might find that touching it directly after climax is too much to bear; this is even more the case if you have an especially sensitive clit. In these instances, it’s just a matter of stepping back and giving your clit the chance to take a breather, relax, and basically gain its composure—and it will.
What’s also important to realize in these moments, contrary to myths, is that you can’t numb your clitoris with excessive stimulation or by using a vibrator. Nor do you only have a finite number of orgasms, so you better use them sparingly—that’s all bupkis. If you experience an over-stimulated clit, rest assured that it will pass. Then you can get back to clit stimulation again!
7 Creative Ways to Orgasm from Clit Stimulation by Amanda Chatel originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz