So you’re ready to slip slide into the deep dive of anal sex. Kinda. You know you want to but you just aren’t sure where to start. Like anything new, you just have to learn the process: the hows, the whys, the whens, and the definitely nots. Preparing for anal sex can be intimidating for anyone, which is why we are going to be your booty bestie and walk you through all you need to know.
Anal Sex Myths
The first thing you have to do is get out of your head. There’s a lot of messaging in the world that will tell you things that simply aren’t true about anal sex. It’s clean, fun, pleasurable, intimate, and a little bit kinky for some. It’s literally all the things you want good sex to be. What anal sex isn’t, is shameful, nasty, degrading, unhygienic, or limited to same sex partners. Anyone with a butt can get down, and it’s totally fine.
Getting Ready For Anal Play
The next thing you need to know is that you actually don’t need a partner at all. Preparing for anal solo play is one of the best ways to learn what you like (or don’t) and what you need. To start, you need to clean yourself properly. You have a few options here. You could do an enema, but that is probably overkill. It’s kinda like flooding a dam to win a water gun fight. There are situations where an enema is more appropriate, but as a beginner, it’s likely not necessary. A more popular option is to do an anal douche. Preparing for anal sex using a douche can be a total cheat code.
Taking a bath is a great way to prepare for anal as it allows you freshen your back door while relaxing. If you are already pretty clean, but would feel better with a refresher, flushable baby wipes are a handy solution.
Lube Is A Must For Anal
After cleaning, you want to choose your lube. You will need a LOT of lube, so consider texture, smell, flavor, and any other enhancements. A silicone-based lube is best for longer sessions, or shower sex. However, be sure to not use silicone lubricants with silicone devices, as they will break down the material of your toy. Oil-based lubricants are perfect for solo play because while it is ideal for hand and toys, it has a tendency to break down latex so it is not ideal for most condoms.
Relax, When You Wanna Come
Now, the best thing is to relax. Seriously. Your booty’s natural reaction to any stimulation is to tighten up and that’s what you don’t want. To prepare for anal play, even solo, create your environment. Dimmer lights, music, candles and anything else that will help you to ease your sphincter muscle. Whether alone, or with a partner, foreplay is going to take you to the next level. Use your lube to glide over erogenous zones like your nipples and genitals. Stimulating your rectum is a nice feeling, and allows you to relax your bum while receiving some pleasure.
Hitting The P-Spot
For prostate owners, going in about 2-4 inches deep and pointing upwards will get you to the promised land (or P-spot) responsible for producing seminal fluid. When stroked the right way, it can produce amazing orgasms. Tapping the P-spot, or “milking” is hands down THE most pleasurable for most prostate owners. Tapping can vary in speed and pressure, and for some, you don’t even need to tap in the traditional sense. Rather, pressing and releasing without removing contact (think elevator button when you’re in a hurry) can produce much wanted results.
Anal Play For Vulva-Havers
For those with a vulva, pleasure is attained differently, and there are some significant things to note. One, choose a hole and stick with it. Do not EVER double dip without completely cleaning off. The bacteria in the anus and the bacteria in and around the vulva are not friends, and they do not play well with each other. Additionally, vulva owners tend to derive pleasure from the fullness and pressure, rather than direct stimulation. Keep this in mind when looking at toys to use to prepare for anal pleasure.
Preparing for anal pleasure is a little bit of a journey when you first decide to go there, but after a few sessions, you will be throwing that ass in a circle when you see your favorite toy. It cannot be stressed enough though, that lube is your (other) bestie, and there is NO. SUCH. THING. as too much lube. It’s not a thing. The limit does not exist. Whether excavating solo or with a partner, with fingers or toys, preparing for anal play is fun, intimate, and kinky. With the proper conversations, consideration, and preparation, pleasure is literally up your butt, and slightly around the corner.