I’ve read many articles over the last couple of months about changes we’ve implemented during coronavirus that we could do with keeping in the long-term. More flexible working is definitely one of them, as well as increased cycling and walking provision to ease the strain on public transport. But what about the changes that have had an impact on our sex lives? Personally I think that the increased use of sex toys and porn, combined with more spare time to use to indulge them, could greatly improve both the physical and mental health of society.
I’m especially keen to understand whether lockdown has helped to ease masturbation stigma — encouraging more people to masturbate and be open about doing so. A fascinating survey back in June revealed that 40 percent of men say they’re masturbating more since the start of lockdown. Through my work, I know that masturbation stigma for men (predominantly — though not entirely — cisgender men) is a huge issue. While sex toys and masturbation for women are now regularly covered in mainstream media, there is still a huge taboo around discussing male masturbation. Particularly where it involves sex toys, and doubly so if those sex toys happen to be anal ones.
The fact that more men are masturbating during lockdown should be good news to everyone — not only does masturbation have some very specific physical and mental health benefits, the more people are willing to admit to doing it, the more likely it is that we’ll chip away at the masturbation stigma that has caused so much anguish over decades and centuries. The reasons cited in the poll were mainly because people weren’t located with their partners so were more likely to be enjoying solo sex, but many also cited simply having more time on their hands. Given this, should we perhaps be factoring “more time to masturbate” into our calculations about what a post-Covid world should look like? I think so.
There’s been plenty of talk of baking sourdough, nurturing plants, or taking up arts and crafts to pass the time during 2020, but self-care doesn’t always come wrapped in wholesome packaging. Sometimes self-care — or partner care — involves lube and vibrators and a great porn scene on the laptop. And if we’re working from home more, there’s lots of time to do exactly that.
Recently, the U.K. government has been all but begging people to return to work, and been met with deafening silence from commuters who are sick of jamming themselves into crowded train carriages. When we discuss the reasons for this, we usually focus on the ones that are suitable to be printed on the front page of newspapers: disease transmission (in offices or on public transport) is a huge risk, there are significant environmental factors involved in daily commuting, and the cost of it — both in time and money — takes a huge toll on people’s lives. But while it may still be a bit taboo to say, I think it’s worth mentioning that our sexual wellness takes a nosedive in these scenarios too. Who really wants to get sexy after two hours being intimate with a stranger’s armpit on a commuter train? Who has the energy to dedicate to an hour of self-love when you’ve spent all day in pointless meetings fueled only by a sandwich?
There’s a huge rush at the moment to “restart the economy” — those who own office buildings and city-center sandwich chains are champing at the bit to have us all trudging back into work. But those of us in the adult industry are probably much keener to see where this new world could take us. Not only could the parts of the economy in which we work grow significantly, we also recognize that the work we do has a hugely positive impact on people’s way of life.
When we talk about lockdown changing our lifestyle, it’s important to acknowledge that sex lives are part of our lifestyle too. So when the pandemic is over, and the anxiety and stress it brings starts to fade away, do we really want to go back to how things were? I think we’d be much happier embracing our change of pace, allowing for 40 percent more masturbation and a hell of a lot less stress.