A Look at the Psychology of Color in Branding

We all know that certain colors are synonymous with the business of love and lust. Given that you’ll be reading this in the run up to the Holiday Season and Valentine’s Day there will be no escape from red. Even outside of your erotic store, it’s the primary color for cards, vouchers, roses, heart-shaped balloons and all sorts of other objects and images. You don’t see green or yellow hearts. And when something is considered very exciting, intense, or passionate, it’s said to be “red hot.” I’m sure it’s no coincidence that 80 percent of Ferraris are sold in its rosso corsa paint scheme: more commonly known as “Ferrari red.”

Sure, there are other colors regularly employed by our industry, and if accepting of color psychology, seem fairly logical to use in creating an illogical and thoroughly emotional attitude and subsequent response among target audiences.

Black is invariably the color of mystery, luxury, sophistication and exclusivity. Think of black-tie events, or the AMEX black card (only available by invitation). Close to this is silver (think of “silver service”) or platinum (also heavily used by credit card companies and other service providers). And yes, I know the last two are metals rather than colors per se, but we’ll not split hairs at this moment in time.

Arguably at the other end is virginal white: associated with purity, weddings, and a bit of a contrasting trope when it comes to erotic entertainment or media. And the antithesis to red hot lovin’? A case of the blue balls. Yep, there’s those colors once more used to considerable effect in conveying an image or feeling.

Two rather pertinent questions subsequently arise. Are these colors now clichéd? And secondly, to what extent should new industry entrants use color to their advantage?

We’re already seeing adult products — along with the accompanying packaging — shunning the brash, bold primary colors and shades in favor of more neutral tones. Brands such as the Dodil and Chakrubs make perfect examples. Furthermore, many of these products — especially those commanding premium prices — could easily be mistaken as both a pleasure product and objet d’art to be proudly displayed in someone’s chamber and not out of place in a swanky interior lifestyle magazine, rather than normally hidden away inside the bedside drawer.

So is red now an outdated, clichéd color in the business of love and lust, and the erotic retail industry in particular?

One could simply respond by highlighting the number of centuries these color associations have already existed for. They’ve survived this long for good reason. Good luck to anyone intent on usurping these associations: they’ll be bankrupt before making a dent.

Please also note that these “traditional” colors are representative of sensations or experiences as a whole, regardless of individual consumer gender (I’ve written elsewhere on the whole “blue is for boys and pink is for girls” issue).

In short, yes, they’re clichéd. I’m certainly not going to deny it. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with clichés if through association they convey and engender positive urges, sensations and experiences. Either way, when they’ve lasted this long, they’re not going to disappear in our lifetimes: you can count on it. Bottom line: when clichés are this successful and positively perceived, don’t even think about discarding them.

Playing devil’s advocate for a moment (and being rather silly too), imagine some future dystopian, PC-gone-mad society: a combination of George Orwell’s “1984” and Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World.” The powers that be are eradicating symbolic old color associations. On a huge stage with thousands sat below, a speaker announces: “The new color of love, passion and relationships is … [pause for dramatic effect] … ochre.”

Nah, me neither. But back in the here and now, what about at an individual company level? Should adherence to these colors be requisite or should they instead strike out fearlessly with a new color identity?

Adopting red especially will associate you with the business of love and lust — of that there’s no doubt. But am I not always advocating to zig when everyone else is zagging? Doesn’t this fly in the face of such advice? Not when it’s the most powerful link, such as between the color red and love or lust. Don’t try to challenge this.

But there are still different ways of forging a unique identity for your company. Just like Jennifer Aniston in those hair product ads, “here’s the science bit.”

When it comes to human cognition, color is actually second in line: we mentally process shape first. Need proof? Look no further than Nike’s iconic swoosh. From repeated exposure (for some, this may be a matter of decades) we don’t need the name Nike spelled out to know which brand of running shoes or sweatpants are being worn: one single swoosh now conveys everything.

So, first things first, have a great, distinctive shape or object as part of your visual identity. Then comes color. And finally comes form (content and language: your company or brand name). So, even if you initially think you’ll be unable to stand out from the crowd, by adhering to red, black, or white, you’ve got two other variables — big ones at that — to forge something really unique from. Make it worthwhile!

What this means is that when combined with the other elements of the marketing mix, there’s opportunity for these well-known colors to be employed, but you’d have to be the first in the particular niche you’re aiming to fill. There will be plenty of other companies employing black if offering premium product ranges in any given category. By all means you can use black too if you’re similarly offering upmarket products or services — provided it’s not in the same category as the other company already employing black — even though shape and form may differ.

Again, we can look at other industries to see examples. Pepsi arguably could never freely compete with Coca Cola until it ditched red (or most of it) from its brand identity. Going even further afield (pun partially intended), as John Deere tractors already owned green — the best color for agricultural machinery, given the associations with green grass and nature — there was no way Ford tractors could compete by similarly adopting green. John Deere would indirectly still benefit. Ford had no choice but to choose an entirely different color — blue. While it lacked a strong color association, at least there was no way people would confuse Ford for John Deere.

So, by all means, stick to those tried-and-tested colors of love and lust, or those conveying key traits. But, be mindful of your immediate competitors and the visual identity they possess, and cognitive processing — shape, color and form — when it comes to your own.

A Look at the Psychology of Color in Branding by Brian Gray originally appeared in XBIZ

4 New ways to be Chic – Chic Collection Expansion by CalExotics

Sophisticated. Refined. Powerful. – that describes the Chíc collection from CalExotics.

It’s sophisticated with deep, rich color and stunning decorative accents. It’s refined with unique shapes and styles. Its powerful with 10 escalating speeds of pleasure. The Chíc collection embodies the perfect pleasure product!

Poppy offers a shape designed for full body massage.

Blossom is a dual stimulator with incredible oscillating G-spot thumping.

Lilac features dual stimulation points and body contouring curves.

Peony provides flexible G-spot stimulation with dual motors for double the power.

All Chíc products are crafted with silky silicone and real gold plated accents, and feature a state-of-the-art memory chip that resumes on the last function used, security travel lock, are USB rechargeable, 100% waterproof, and protected by a 1-year warranty.

Chic Poppy Full Body Massager

The ultra-plush silicone body, flexible head and 5 levels of vibration are sure to create feelings of playful pleasure. This high-powered massager is created with a flexible neck and broad head to let you control sensation with ease. An intense motor inside of the flexible shaft puts of intense vibrations for playfully powerful stimulation.

Indulge in personalized pleasure while the curved massager shimmies to the rhythm of 5 sensation speeds of vibration. Control this variety of orgasmic options with the easy-touch control pad. The flexible massager is made from a hygienically superior silicone with dazzling gold plated decorative accents.

Whether you’re taking a dip with a lover or indulging in a steamy solo session, look forward to up to 2.5 hours of waterproof vibration. Recharge pleasure and get back to playtime in only 2 hours with the provided USB cable. To take your pleasure to-go, a security travel lock features requires you to hold the on/off button for 3 second to turn on or off.

Features:

  • Full body massager with extraordinary power
  • 5 incremental speeds of vibration
  • Luxurious Silicone with decorative accents
  • State-of-the-art memory chip resumes on last function used
  • Security travel lock feature – hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cord included
  • Complete charge in 2.5 hours
  • Runs for 40 minutes on high speed and 150 minutes on low speed
  • 1 Year warranty provided by CalExotics
  • Silicone (massager) ABS with Gold Plating (décor, buttons)
  • 1.5” x 1.5” (head)
  • 8” x 1.75” (overall)

 

Chic Blossom Dual Stimulator with Thumping G-Spot Action

Sophisticated, refined, and powerful, the Chíc Blossom is crafted to send you spiraling towards luxurious pleasure.

The flexible dual massager is rumbling with powerful dual motors, 10 speeds of vibration, and an incredible thumping G-spot stimulator.

Embrace earth-shaking g-spot stimulation like you’ve never experienced with the oscillating G stimulator tip and intense thumping pulsations. This high-powered rabbit massager is created with a curved g shaft and a naturally contoured stimulator to envelope your most intimate curves. An intense motor inside of the flexible shaft and another inside the teaser put rumbling vibrations for playfully powerful stimulation.

Indulge in personalized pleasure while the curved shaft and teaser shimmies to the rhythm of 10 synchronized vibration speed levels. Control this variety of orgasmic options with the easy-touch control button.

The flexible massager is made from a hygienically superior silicone with dazzling gold-plated decorative accents.

Whether you’re taking a dip with a lover or indulging in a steamy solo session, look forward to up to 150 minutes of waterproof vibration. Recharge pleasure and get back to playtime in only 2.5 hours with the provided USB cable. To take your pleasure to-go, a security travel lock features requires you to hold the on/off button for 3 second to turn on or off.

Features:

  • Dual massager with incredible oscillating G-spot stimulation
  • 10 incremental speeds of synchronous vibration plus thumping pulsation
  • Luxurious Silicone with decorative accents
  • Dual motors
  • State-of-the-art memory chip resumes on last function used
  • Security travel lock feature – hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cord included
  • Complete charge in 2.5 hours
  • Runs for 40 minutes on high speed and 150 minutes on low speed
  • 1 Year warranty provided by CalExotics
  • Silicone (massager) ABS with Gold Plating (décor, buttons)
  • 4” x 1.5” (shaft)
  • 2.25” x 1” (stimulator)
  • 7” x 1.5” (overall)

 

Chic Lilac Dual Stimulator with Body Contouring Curves

This high-powered rabbit massager is created with a curved g shaft and a naturally contoured stimulator to envelope your most intimate curves.

An intense motor inside of the flexible shaft and another inside the teaser put rumbling vibrations for playfully powerful stimulation. Indulge in personalized pleasure while the curved shaft and teaser shimmies to the rhythm of 10 synchronized vibration speed levels. Control this variety of orgasmic options with the easy-touch control button.

The flexible massager is made from a hygienically superior silicone with dazzling gold-plated decorative accents.

Whether you’re taking a dip with a lover or indulging in a steamy solo session, look forward to up to 150 minutes of waterproof vibration. Recharge pleasure and get back to playtime in only 2.5 hours with the provided USB cable. To take your pleasure to-go, a security travel lock features requires you to hold the on/off button for 3 second to turn on or off.

Features:

  • Body contouring curves with incredible power
  • 10 incremental speeds of synchronous vibration in the shaft and stimulator
  • Luxurious Silicone with decorative accents
  • Dual motors
  • State-of-the-art memory chip resumes on last function used
  • Security travel lock feature – hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cord included
  • Complete charge in 2.5 hours
  • 1 Year warranty provided by CalExotics
  • Runs for 45 minutes on high speed and 150 minutes on low speed
  • Silicone (massager) ABS with Gold Plating (décor, buttons)
  • 4.5” x 1.25”/11.5 cm x 3.25 cm (shaft)
  • 3” x 1”/7.5 cm x 2.5 cm (stimulator)
  • 7” x 1.25”/17.75 cm x 3.25 cm (overall)

 

Chic Peony Dual Motor G-spot Vibe

Sophisticated, refined, and powerful, the Chíc Peony is crafted to send you spiraling towards luxurious pleasure.

The flexible g-wand is rumbling with powerful dual motors, 10 speeds of vibration, and a luxury silicone case. This high-powered massager is created with a flexible neck and curved head to let you control G stimulation with ease.

An intense motor inside of the flexible shaft puts of intense vibrations for playfully powerful stimulation. Indulge in personalized pleasure while the curved shaft shimmies to the rhythm of 10 vivacious vibration speed levels. Control this variety of orgasmic options with the easy-touch control button.

The flexible massager is made from a hygienically superior silicone with dazzling gold plated decorative accents. Whether you’re taking a dip with a lover or indulging in a steamy solo session, look forward to up to 90 minutes of waterproof vibration. Recharge pleasure and get back to playtime in only 2.5 hours with the provided USB cable.

Features:

  • G-spot wand with dual motors
  • 10 incremental speeds of vibration
  • Luxurious Silicone with decorative accents
  • Dual motors
  • State-of-the-art memory chip resumes on last function used
  • Security travel lock feature – hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cord included
  • Complete charge in 2.5 hours
  • Runs for 40 minutes on high speed and 90 minutes on low speed
  • 1 Year warranty provided by CalExotics
  • Silicone (massager) ABS with Gold Plating (décor, buttons)
  • 7.75” x 1.25”

Hot Lover Self-Warming App Controlled Dual Stimulator by Satisfyer

The Satisfyer Hot Lover is a dual stimulator with that extra certain something!

While the shaft with its ergonomically curved tip seduces your G-spot, the smaller external stimulator takes care of the intense clitoral stimulation.

Ergonomically shaped, this warming vibrator hugs your hot spots while it lies comfortably in your hand thanks to its long handle. The design of the Satisfyer Hot Lover is also particularly eye-catching: The shimmering surface in beautiful pastel tones and the sparkling detail throughout make it a real highlight. Thanks to its surface made of body-friendly silicone, it’s also irresistibly gentle and loving to your skin.

You can also use the device’s warming function for extra hot moments: The shaft of the Satisfyer Hot Lover can be heated up to 39 degrees C/104 degrees F, which not only ensures a greater sense of pleasure and an increased ability to orgasm, but also a realistic, body-like experience. The warming function can also be activated independently of the vibration controls.

The two powerful motors can be controlled independently of each other using the control panel on the vibrator or the Satisfyer Connect app. Explore the twelve preset vibration programs – and you can get even more variety with the free Satisfyer Connect app for Android and Apple iOS. Create new programs or connect the app with Spotify to experience intense orgasms to the rhythm of your favorite songs.

The USB rechargeable Hot Lover is waterproof for fun in & out of the water and easy cleanup.

Features:

  • Dual stimulator with sensual stimulation through vibration and heat
  • Provides clitoris and G-spot stimulation
  • Self-warming function heats to 104 degrees
  • 2 Powerful motors
  • Use with or without the app
  • 12 Onboard vibration modes
  • Preset programs can be edited
  • 2 high-powered motors App offers an unending range of programs
  • Whisper mode
  • Body-friendly silicone
  • Easy to clean
  • Waterproof (IPX7)
  • Rechargeable Li-ion battery
  • Magnetic USB rechargeable – charging cable included
  • 15 Year guarantee provided by Satisfyer
  • Silicone and ABS

Relationship-Building Is Only the First Step to Closing Retail Sales

Our success in this industry revolves around the ability of retail associates to build relationships with customers new and old, and in my 20 years of experience turning around troubled companies and retail locations, I’ve witnessed the same basic principles lead to success every time: relationship building, providing and fulfilling a need, and closing the sale.

These are the basics that you need to master if you want to not only be a great sales associate, but build a team of talented associates that results in success for the whole company. I’d like to share my wisdom on how to hone these skills.

I managed brick-and-mortar retail stores for more than 15 years and ran a “top five” store out of 100 in North Carolina. I was always in the top three for sales in the state personally, and was responsible for training all the associates, store managers and district managers in North Carolina — about 25 people each month. It was these years of training that shaped my beliefs about sales and management, and my tried-and-true method for success. Now, as the national sales director for United Consortium (System Jo), my view hasn’t changed. It’s still all about people.

Relationship-Building

People buy from friends, so as a sales person you must develop the ability to create a friendship immediately. Don’t worry, this can be learned! I’ve watched the shyest associates go from staring at their feet when customers walk in the door to actively participating with a few simple strategies.

Start with the first impression. Greet your customer at the soonest appropriate time, tell them your name and ask for theirs. There is nothing people like more than to hear their own names because it fosters the feeling of a “custom” experience. You can say, “Welcome! My name is Brian. And you are…?” Be excited to see them, give them a big smile and use an inviting tone of voice. I actually use a higher tone of voice when I deal with customers directly because I’ve noticed that it gets better results.

Remember that excitement is contagious. The customer will only be as excited to see you as you are to see them. If you’re gazing at the floor, why should they bother to engage? I used to tell my trainees, “Think about someone you’re excited to see every time you see them. How do they behave when you meet?” I always got the same answer: “They light up when they notice me, they smile and rush to give me a hug. They make me feel good.” I can think of several people like that in our industry, and whenever I go to events I anticipate seeing them because, let’s face it, we all want to feel good!

Creating & Fulfilling a Need

Every customer that walks through your door has a need they did not know they had, and you’re going to give it to them. Let’s say they come in looking for a specific toy. Great! Take them right to it. Then add, “If you like this, I think you would love this one!” Start walking to it and motion for them to follow. Choose the most expensive toy that is similar to the one they were seeking, believe it’s the best, and create a story for that item.

Story is a key element of this process. You can sell nothing without a story. Personal ones are the best, but if you do not have a personal story, steal one from someone else! You have nothing to lose by giving them some interesting details of your own or someone else’s experience with this toy or line of toys, and of course they can always say, “No, I want the other one.” You’re still making a sale. But why not build on their need, and use your expertise to guide them toward a fuller basket? “Great. Let’s get you that toy you came for, and then you’re going to need these, too!” Start walking to the accessories that go with the toy. They will follow.

You are the expert. Remember, you only need to know one more thing than someone else to be an expert at something. “You will need this toy cleaner,” for example. Start with the most expensive. “Oh, you will need this lube,” you can say. Then start walking and they will follow. Do they have a loved one they want to be more intimate with? Have they seen the incredible items that just went on sale? Is there a question they have that may seem less embarrassing now that you are “friends”? You can even tell a story about a question that someone else once asked you that turned out not to be as embarrassing as the customer thought.

Closing the Sale

Believe it or not, I have seen sales lost time and time again due to not asking simple questions to get the customer to the register. After all the work put in with this person, you must make a closing statement that leads to finalizing the sale.

Here are the four main types of closes:

  1. Assume the sale: “Did you want to pay with cash or credit?”
  2. Give options: “Did you want me to ring you up for this toy or the other?”
  3. Suggestion close: “Based on your needs, I think this would be the best for you. Ready to take this home today?”
  4. Urgency: “Let’s ring you up. We just got these back in stock, and they keep selling out!”

I believe in these three principles, and I’m happy to share my wisdom with you because lifting up others is a win-win. Before my life in business operations, I was an infantry soldier in the U.S. Army assisting in public relations. I worked with the United Nations Honor Guard in Korea and traveled the country parachuting into airshows. It was an exhilarating time in my life, and I’ll never forget that feeling of winning over new people every day as a representative of my country.

I’ve carried those relationship-building skills with me into the business world and found that it’s the formula for success. I hope it works for you too!

Relationship-Building Is Only the First Step to Closing Retail Sales by Brian Woolard originally appeared in XBIZ

Aster & Blaze Rechargeable Vibrating Strokers by Maia Toys

Turbo charge your Stroke Play with the Aster or Blaze, the newest masturbation strokers by Maia Toys that includes the famous rechargeable Jessi Bullet.

Aster is a clear stroker designed to accentuate the visual appeal of a self-play session.

Blaze is green and is textured on the exterior with a familiar leaf shape.

Both feature a ribbed and beaded tunnel to provide ample stimulation for your stroke play.

Add powerful vibrations in ten different modes when you insert the included Jessi bullet. The stroker’s larger size allows for the Jessi bullets vibration to be transferred to the user.

Both the Jessi Bullet and stroker are 100% submersible for water time stroking sessions.

Features:

  • Stroker sleeve
  • Ribbed interior
  • Use with or without the included Jessi bullet
  • Bullet offers 10 modes of vibration, pulsation, and escalation
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cable included
  • 1 Year warranty provided by Maia Toys
  • TPE and silicone
  • 6.2” x 2.5”

Le Wand Stainless Steel Collection

simple.

sensual.

significant.

Explore and experience unique sensations with the Le Wand Stainless Steel collection — 5 beautifully crafted sex toys designed for vaginal and anal play alike. Whether you’re experimenting solo or with a partner, find out why beginners and enthusiasts utterly adore these durable pleasure tools.

Bow is the ultimate multifunctional sex toy that acts as a dildo, a vaginal exerciser, and a G-spot & P-spot stimulator.

Arch is the only toy you need to obtain endless orgasms. This sensually curved beauty provides a direct connection to the G-spot.

Ideal for beginners, solo, and couples play, Hoop has the perfect curvature to arouse & stimulate every pleasure point.

Intricately made for internal exploration,  Swerve is Le Wand’s most dynamic sex toy to hit the elusive G-spot, P-spot, and every other pleasure spot.

Expertly refined for easy maneuvering and deep penetration, Contour is the undisputed Goliath among the Stainless Steel collection.

Benefits of Using Stainless Steel Sex Toys

Stainless steel sex toys are the newest must-haves for your sex toy collection. Yes. You did read that correctly. Stainless. Steel.

These toys are not some torture relics from the dungeons of yore but are seriously amazing toys for sex. These toys are heavy and can add pressure and weight to your sexual play without much manual effort. These toys can engage the entire clitoral structure (both internal and external), massage the G-spot with newfound intensity, and even ignite the nerve-rich anal opening with a deep sensation that silicone sex toys just don’t have (not that we don’t love silicone toys, because we do).

An inherent benefit of using stainless steel sex toys versus other toys made of body-safe materials is that it is both (almost) totally indestructible and is super easy to clean. If you buy a stainless steel sex toy, you basically have a sex toy for life. They don’t wear down, lose their quality, or break. While high-quality sex toys will last a long time in general, they ain’t got nothin’ on stainless steel.

Your Stainless Steel pleasure tool comes with a plush travel case, a cleaning cloth, a pleasure guide on how to use your toy and a handy care booklet.

Features:

  • Double-sided pleasure tool
  • Sturdy stainless steel
  • Body safe and non-porous
  • Durable
  • Ideal for temperature play
  • Compatible with any lube
  • Luxurious, giftable packaging
  • 1 Year warranty provided by Le Wand

Limited Edition Unlimited Pleasure Gift Box by Svakom

From teasing to hard play and everything in between, the Limited Edition Unlimited Pleasure Gift Box is a BDSM kit that will redefine your fantasies and allow you and your partner unleash your full seductive potential. . . Ready to play?

The SVAKOM Limited Edition BDSM Gift Box is here to transform your holiday season and fill it with flavor and flare.

Featuring an exclusive selection of sex toy + BDSM kit, this decadent box was designed to make every moment count and inspire you to keep exploring your limits from beginning to end.

Included in the set is the Phoenix Neo Interactive App Control Bullet Vibrator, which is a total art piece that blends technology and sophistication into one smart toy, ready to elevate your pleasure at any given moment, no matter where you are, with its intelligent APP functions and delicate design.

The Svakom Limited Edition Unlimited Pleasure gift box was designed to make every moment count and inspire you to keep exploring your limits from beginning to end–the perfect gift to bring you closer.

The kit features Phoenix Neo–an interactive, app-controlled bullet vibrator, handcuffs, a blindfold and a feather tickler/crop.

Features:

  • Gift box with a bullet vibrator + BDSM kit
  • Handcuffs with detachable chain
  • 2-in1 Feather tickler and a crop
  • Eye mask
  • Textured G-spot vibrating bullet
  • 11 vibration settings
  • Can be controlled using the app from anywhere in the world
  • Interactive video and webcam function
  • The illuminating LED lights on the tail will sync to the vibrations for visual display
  • Waterproof for play in bath or shower
  • Magnetic USB rechargeable
  • Made from body-safe silicone
  • Size of Phoenix Neo: 118 x 32 x 116.3 mm; Weight: 70 g

What is the Kivin Method for Cunnilingus and How to Do It

Calling all cunnilingus champions, sexual explorers, and pleasure-seekers!

Whether you’re looking for a simple way to refresh your cunnilingus routine or just want to try out a new thing, please allow me to introduce you to the Kivin Method for cunnilingus. (Oh, and if you’re still getting caught up on your sexual vocabulary, cunnilingus = oral sex performed on a vulva, otherwise known as eating someone out.)

What is the Kivin Method?

Put simply, the Kivin Method is cunnilingus repositioned sideways.

Rather than the giver and receiver being in one straight(ish) line together, their bodies form a right(ish) angle, with the giver lying perpendicular to the receiver. Make an L shape with your thumb and index finger, and you’ll see the basic positioning. Who knew you would use geometry for your sex life?

If you’re feeling a little turned around, don’t worry—we’ll explain the how-to of it all in-depth in a bit.

Who Invented the Kivin Method?

We’d love to give credit where it’s due, but TBH—no one knows for sure who “invented” the Kivin Method.

In Naked at Our Age (published in 2011), Joan Price says that the Kivin Method was “originally presented by Dr. Patti Britton in Paris”, but doesn’t share any more context about the event or year.

In a 2003 issue of The Atlantic, the author mentions reading about it in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex, published by Dr. Judy Kuriansky in 2001.

Regardless, I’m confident that people were doing the Kivin Method before it was ever called that. So, when you’re trying to give thanks, maybe just say “thanks, Universe.”

Benefits of the Kivin Method

In a 2018 study, 63.7% of self-identified women said they preferred up-and-down vulvar stimulation over other patterns, like circular and sideways (the respondents could choose more than one option, FYI). Up-and-down stimulation of the vulva and clitoris can feel pretty natural when you’re using your hand, but when it comes to your tongue… well, your jaw, neck, and tongue can get tired out pretty quickly.

Enter the Kivin Method.

With the person performing cunnilingus laying perpendicular to the recipient, the whole vulva becomes more accessible, and neck strain is alleviated. Also, because you’ve rotated your body, you can make a side-to-side motion (which is easier on the neck), but your recipient feels an up and down motion. Nifty, right?

Below are some reasons why you might want to try out the Kivin Method:

  1. Less neck strain for the giver

In the “conventional” position for cunnilingus, the performer may find that their neck starts to feel strained after a bit. If you’re sitting up right now, drop your head back and look up to the sky or ceiling. That’s basically the position your head is in during conventional cunnilingus—and it can be uncomfortable to hold for a while.

With the Kivin Method, you’re able to keep your upper body more completely engaged and can even use pillows like the Liberator Ramp, your arm, or your partner’s leg to help support your head and neck alignment. In addition, the reduction in neck strain means that you may be able to last longer (or at least not be cramping up as your partner approached orgasm).

  1. More access to the whole vulva = more pleasure

Look, the clit is amazing — but there’s so much more to it than the clitoral glans. The clitoral glans is the “nub” that can be seen and felt at the top of the vulva, and it quite literally is just the tip of the iceberg (but in a good, not scary way).

The rest of the clitoris is a double-wishbone structure; the outer legs (crura) extend behind the labia major. The inner bulbs (vestibular bulbs) are basically behind the labia minora and hug either side of the vaginal opening.

All parts of the clitoris are highly sensitive, and stimulating some of the non-glans areas can feel extremely pleasurable! The Kivin Method gives the performer greater access to the vulva, which allows them to stimulate the labia, vaginal opening, and perineum more easily.

  1. Relieves pressure on the receiver’s hips and pelvis

The conventional cunnilingus position often requires the receiver to have their knees dropped wide to either side as much as possible. As people with vulvas approach orgasm, the muscles around the buttocks, hips, and pelvis tense and release — but in the lotus-style position, that tension can quickly lead to cramping, especially for folks with arthritis or other joint issues.

The Kivin Method has the recipient wrapping one of their legs over the giver’s back (or onto a pillow, like the Liberator Wedge). That slight adjustment can help take a lot of pressure off of the hips and can reduce some of those mid-sex “hold on, I have a hip cramp!” pauses.

  1. Easier booty access

Between the lifted leg and the sideways positioning, accessing the booty during cunnilingus is easier than ever. The perineum (that small area of tissue between the vulva and the anus) is sensitive and delicate, making it a powerhouse for stimulation.

Accessing it is easier using the Kivin Method, but remember: If you’re going to add backdoor oral (AKA analingus) into your cunnilingus experience, you should use a dental dam to reduce the unintentional transmission of fecal matter. Even if you aren’t using your tongue to stimulate the perineum, you can use your fingers or a toy to add a new layer of sensation. People of all genders and genital configurations can find anal play pleasurable, so talk with your partner and see if this is something they’d be into!

  1. Potentially faster orgasms

Because of the complete vulvar access and the possibility of adding in other types of stimulation, the Kivin Method might lend itself to easier, quicker orgasms. That being said, everyone’s body is different, and you haven’t failed sexually if it still takes you just as long, longer, or if you don’t cum at all.

While some people report that the Kivin Method of cunnilingus has allowed them to have faster orgasms, that may not be true for you—instead, focus on your overall experience of physical pleasure rather than trying out a new personal record.

How to Perform the Kivin Method

Trying out something new for the first time can be overwhelming to many of us, but remember that you don’t have to be (and won’t be) perfect at it your first time around.

You’ll have a more pleasurable sexual experience if you focus on playing, being curious, and engaging with your partner rather than focusing on following one specific roadmap. Consider these instructions to be a guide, then adapt them however works best for you!

  1. Be playful

Many of us struggle to really play in the bedroom. We get so tied up in performance anxiety and achieving a certain goal; we forget that the whole point is pleasure—not earning top marks in technique (unless you’re role-playing, in which case, you do you).

Any time you’re trying a new technique, position, roleplay, or dirty talk, remember to play with it. You don’t have to perfect right off the bat, and you might feel a little awkward at first. That’s okay! It’s part of the process. Be curious about the things that excite you and your partners, and keep moving forward little by little from there.

  1. Communicate about it

I’ll be honest with you: There is no one sex technique that is universally loved by everyone. Our bodies, desires, and pleasures are all different, and that’s totally okay! You also don’t have to be perfect at everything (see point #1 above) right off the bat.

Instead of assuming that everything will be immediately amazing or focusing on getting it perfect, check in with your partner about what they’re enjoying and what they want more or less of.

If you’re the receiving partner, tell the giver what they’re doing well, and ask for (or guide) adjustments when you need them. The best way to create a pleasurable sexual experience is to communicate about it, so keep coming back to this one—it’s really foundational.

  1. Get into basic position for the Kivin Method

Before you stress about it too much, remember that the Kivin Method is fundamentally a sex position to help increase everyone’s pleasure. The receiving partner will lay down on their back somewhere comfortable, while the giver lays down perpendicular to them, at the vulva’s level.

Then, have the recipient raise the leg closest to their partner and wrap it over their back. Don’t worry about specific placement; just find the spot that feels most comfortable to you both! If you want even more support, you can try using a sex pillow underneath the receiver’s hips to elevate them some more or try putting a pillow underneath your partner’s head and neck. You could even use bondage ties, spreader bars, and positioning straps to help hold the receiver’s legs in a comfortable position.

Remember, you’re not stuck with the accessories you start with, so you can always add or take things away as you want!

From here, the giver’s head should be just about at the level of the vulva. Check-in with your partner to see how the position feels for their body, make adjustments, and then get started!

  1. Use your mouth

In the Kivin Method position, the giver’s tongue can more easily cover the vulva’s vast territory. Instead of focusing just on the clit, let your tongue move side-to-side and up-and-down, finding a rhythm that works for you and your partner.

I recommend starting off with lighter, slower pressure and slowly building up speed and pressure from there, based on your partner’s feedback. You aren’t tied to one specific motion with the Kivin Method, so try out a few different patterns, shapes, and speeds to see what feels best.

With the relaxed, open hip position, the giver could also use their tongue to more easily stimulate the introitus (vaginal opening). Use a wide, flat tongue to massage the opening and a firmer, pointed tongue to explore inside. The vaginal opening is densely packed with nerve endings (and is being hugged by those vestibular bulbs we mentioned earlier), so this light stimulation can feel really nice.

The beauty of the Kivin Method is that it gives you wider access to the whole vulva, so rather than focusing exclusively on the clitoral glans, take the opportunity to get to know your partner’s body a little better! Use your tongue to stimulate the labia major, labia minora, vaginal opening, inner thighs, perineum, and anywhere your pleasure journey takes you both. (And BTW, that tip applies to regular ole cunnilingus, too).

  1. Use your hands

Hands are extremely under-utilized in oral sex. You might be like, “Okay, but it’s oral sex” and I know that, but hear me out. Using your hands during oral allows you to add in an additional layer of stimulation and can help give your tongue and jaw a rest.

You can use one hand to put light pressure on the pubic mound and to slightly draw back the clitoral hood. Or, try varying it up by using one or two fingers to put pressure down on the labia major on either side of the clitoral glans (that pressure can help intensify orgasms and can help draw the glans out a bit more).

You can also use your fingers and lube for internal stimulation of the vagina while you stimulate the clit and vulva with your tongue. If your tongue or jaw needs a break, let your fingers take over. Want to massage a part of your partner’s body? Hands!

You can also use your fingertips and some lube for a perineal massage. In fact, many folks consider perineal stimulation to be essential to the Kivin Method. I’m on Team “Do What Feels Best for You” so if perineal stimulation feels great for you and your partner, yay! And if it’s more of a “meh” experience, then go ahead and focus elsewhere.

You truly have infinite possibilities here, so consider your hands as an extra tool and use them to help you out.

  1. Add in a toy

Oral doesn’t need to be all about your mouth; just as you can use your hands to support your efforts, you can use toys as tools, too! You might, for example, hold a bullet vibe onto your partner’s clit (or have them hold it in place) while you orally explore the rest of their vulva.

You could use a vibrator with a g-zone tip to incorporate hands-free vaginal play while also stimulating the clitoral glans.

Toys are also a great way to bring the booty into play without the worry of unintentionally bringing trace fecal matter or bacteria from the anus to the vagina. Adding in a small, lubricated plug can create a sensation of fullness, which can lead to powerful orgasms. If you’re more experienced with anal play, you could try adding in a larger plug with a few more bells and whistles.

Remember, toys are tools. There’s no shame in using them to add to a sexual experience, and it doesn’t say anything bad about your partner’s level of sexual skill!

How Does the Kivin Method Feel?

There are countless articles out there that will tell you that the Kivin Method is the absolute best-ever cunnilingus! You’ll be begging for more! And, yeah. You might really enjoy it!

But, everybody is different. Some folks may find the position uncomfortable, or may not like the wider vulvar stimulation that comes with the Kivin Method. Listen to your partner if they tell you they just weren’t feeling it. There isn’t anything wrong with not liking a technique, position, or toy that seemingly everyone else loves. Everyone’s pleasures are different!

Still, many folks find the Kivin Method to be especially pleasurable and to feel like a more natural, comfortable position compared to conventional cunnilingus. And for folks who want their partners to pay attention to their whole vulva, not just the clit, the Kivin Method opens up a world of possibilities that may have felt hidden away before.

The important thing is to approach the Kivin Method with curiosity and an open mind. Don’t be afraid to play around, be a little clumsy, and reposition yourself until you find an angle that works for you. Talk about trying out the Kivin Method ahead of time, and then debrief again afterward. You’re trying something new for the first time! That’s pretty cool and brave of you!

Remember, the only person who can tell you how the Kivin Method feels for you is you. So put your scientist hat on and experiment away!

What is the Kivin Method for Cunnilingus and How to Do It by Cassandra Corrado originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz

New Ways to SLAY – 4 New Mini Vibes by CalExotics

Slip a teasing Slay mini massager into your purse or handbag for knee-shaking pleasure wherever you go.

Featuring unique designs in on-trend colors, the Slay collection is made with silky silicone and gold plated accents, and offers ten vibration modes with easy operation.

The four new designs are great for exploring sensual sweet spots and delivering stimulation with ease:

#WowME has a unique flexible open design to surround yourself in pleasure.

#BuzzMe offers dual flickering ear teasers and a rounded body.

#AdoreMe is uniquely curved with a smooth and flexible tip

#SatisfyMe delivers pinpoint tantalization and thrills with sensually ribbed texture.

The stylish Slay collection is not only budget-friendly, but is also rechargeable, waterproof, and backed by a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty.

 

Slay #WowMe

The tickling #WowMe teaser fits between your fingers to let you deliver pinpoint tantalization and thrill with flickering vibrations.

Get playful while you flicker through 10 indulgent vibration, pulsation and escalation functions with the easy-touch control button.

The unique flexible open design is great for exploring sensual sweet spots and delivering pinpoint stimulation with ease.

The USB rechargeable Slay #WowMe is waterproof for fun in & out of the water and easy cleanup.

Features:

  • Silicone massager with flexible open design
  • Easy-to-operate
  • 10 functions of intense vibration, pulsation and escalation
  • State-of-the-art memory chip resumes on last function used
  • Security travel lock feature – hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cord included
  • 1.5 Hour charge provides up to 70 minutes of playtime
  • 1 Year warranty provided by CalExotics
  • Silicone (massager, button) ABS with Gold Plating (décor)
  • 4” x 1” (massager)
  • 5.25” x 1” (overall)

 

Slay #BuzzMe

The unique #BuzzMe mini rabbit massager fits between your fingers to let you deliver pinpoint tantalization while flickering ears tickle and tease.

Get playful while you flicker through 10 indulgent vibration, pulsation and escalation functions with the easy-touch control button. Effortlessly control pure pleasure with an easy-touch silicone button and hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off.

The dual flickering ear teasers are great for exploring sensual sweet spots and intimate pleasure points with ease. With a rounded body and flexible tips, you’ll be able to indulge in thrilling vibrations from any angle your desire.

The USB rechargeable Slay #BuzzMe is waterproof for fun in & out of the water and easy cleanup.

Features:

  • Silicone massager with dual teasing ears
  • Easy-to-operate
  • 10 functions of intense vibration, pulsation and escalation
  • State-of-the-art memory chip resumes on last function used
  • Security travel lock feature – hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cord included
  • 1.5 Hour charge provides up to 70 minutes of playtime
  • 1 Year warranty provided by CalExotics
  • Silicone (massager, button) ABS with Gold Plating (décor)
  • 4.25” x 1” (massager)
  • 5.25” x 1” (overall)

 

Slay #AdoreMe

The tickling #AdoreMe teaser fits between your fingers to let you deliver pinpoint tantalization and thrill with flickering vibrations.

Get playful while you flicker through 10 indulgent vibration, pulsation and escalation functions with the easy-touch control button.

The uniquely curved teaser is great for exploring sensual sweet spots and delivering pinpoint stimulation with ease.

The USB rechargeable Slay #AdoreMe is waterproof for fun in & out of the water and easy cleanup.

Features:

  • Silicone massager with smooth and flexible tip
  • Easy-to-operate
  • 10 functions of intense vibration, pulsation and escalation
  • State-of-the-art memory chip resumes on last function used
  • Security travel lock feature – hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cord included
  • 1.5 Hour charge provides up to 70 minutes of playtime
  • 1 Year warranty provided by CalExotics
  • Silicone (massager, button) ABS with Gold Plating (décor)
  • 4.75” x 1” (massager)
  • 5.75” x 1” (overall)

 

Slay #SatisfyMe

The #SatisfyMe mini bullet massager fits between your fingers to let you deliver pinpoint tantalization and thrill with sensually ribbed vibrations.

Get playful while you flicker through 10 indulgent vibration, pulsation and escalation functions with the easy-touch control button. Effortlessly control pure pleasure with an easy-touch silicone button and hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off.

The ultra-plush silicone and uniquely textured body are great for exploring sensual sweet spots and intimate pleasure points with ease. With a rounded tip and supple surface, you’ll be able to indulge in thrilling vibrations from any angle your desire.

The USB rechargeable Slay #SatisfyMe is waterproof for fun in & out of the water and easy cleanup.

Features:

  • Silicone massager with pinpointed teaser
  • Easy-to-operate
  • 10 functions of intense vibration, pulsation and escalation
  • State-of-the-art memory chip resumes on last function used
  • Security travel lock feature – hold for 3 seconds to turn on or off
  • Waterproof
  • USB rechargeable – charging cord included
  • 1.5 Hour charge provides up to 70 minutes of playtime
  • 1 Year warranty provided by CalExotics
  • Silicone (massager, button) ABS with Gold Plating (décor)
  • 3.75” x 1” (massager)
  • 4.75” x 1” (overall)

The Rocker Come-Hither Action Prostate Massager from Zero Tolerance by Evolved

Rock your world with the mind-blowing orgasms that can only be achieved through prostate stimulation!

The powerful 7-speed Rocker vibe reaches the P-spot with ease and employs a 3-speed ‘come hither’ motion at the top of the shaft where you want it most. Experts agree that this motion is the best to induce potent climaxes.

With one motor in the shaft and another in the base, the vibrations encompass a larger area with a tantalizing ball-buzzing effect.

Use the remote for hands-free or partner play, and play safely with the wide ergonomic base.

The USB rechargeable Zero Tolerance Rocker is waterproof and submersible for fun in & out of the water and easy cleanup.

Features:

  • Powerful remote control prostate vibrator
  • Perfect for intense prostate orgasms
  • 2 Motors, one in shaft, one in base
  • ‘Come hither’ motion in top half of shaft
  • Ball-buzzing effect with base motor
  • 7 vibrating functions in base & shaft
  • 3 come hither speeds
  • Textured ringed base for added pleasure
  • Ribbed texture in shaft for added pleasure
  • Made from creamy smooth silicone
  • Remote made from durable ABS plastic
  • Blue LED light on bottom of base lights up when in use
  • Remote range up to 50 feet
  • Phthalate & latex free
  • Waterproof & Submersible
  • Rechargeable, USB cable included
  • Remote uses 1 CR2032 battery, included
  • 5.26” x 3.76” x 1.59”