When it comes to candles in the bedroom, most folks think of them as a great way to create a sexy ambiance. For folks who enjoy wax play, however, candles are also a kinky way to heat things up. While it may sound daunting to the uninitiated — because, you know, fire and hot dripping wax — wax play can be a fun and accessible sensation-play option, as well as an excellent intro to BDSM.

Let’s talk about what wax play is, how it feels, how to do it safely, what should and should not be used when engaging in it, and what you should know to help your customers find the right products.

What is wax play?

The specifics of wax play will vary depending on what each person enjoys. In general, wax play means dripping, spreading, pouring or massaging hot or warm candle wax onto the skin. It can also involve playing with the wax after it’s hardened. Wax play can be done with a partner or solo.

There are candles made specifically for wax play, typically with soy wax that melts at a lower temperature than ordinary candles or paraffin wax. If using paraffin, which can melt at higher temperatures than soy, we recommend blowing out the flame and dripping from at least three feet above to avoid burning the skin.

This is one of those product categories where it is best if the brand is owned or managed by people with a genuine understanding of kink and BDSM. Candles meant for wax play are frequently made with essential oils that can soften, soothe and nourish skin. If the label doesn’t indicate that a candle is intended for wax play or massage, put it on your coffee table instead.

What does wax play feel like?

There are various ways to play with wax for different sensations and experiences.

For some people, a big part of the appeal is the anticipation of the wax dripping onto the skin. For many, of course, it is the immediate physical reaction to the heat of the wax. Try playing with the height from which the wax is dripped, to intensify or reduce the sensation as you discover and explore your personal preferences.

Some people enjoy layering wax over different parts of the body, while others find it pleasurable to have the cooled, hardened wax slowly peeled off.

Wax play is a high-sensation activity, which means the experience can be amplified and more complex when incorporating — or removing — other sensations. For example, putting a blindfold on the receiver can add the element of surprise from not knowing when the drips will come or where they’ll fall on the body. Paddling or flogging the area before or after dripping wax onto it intensifies the experience by shifting the sensation from a sharp sting to a hot tingle and vice versa. Alternating between applying a hot, damp cloth and pouring warm wax can be a fun way to explore consecutive temperature changes on the skin. With ongoing communication and consent, wax play offers users a wide array of pleasure and pain options.

Wax play safety tips

Experimenting safely will help you figure out what you do and don’t like. Before getting started, keep a bowl or bucket of warm water nearby in case anyone involved is worried about getting burned or having a more intense heat sensation than they expected. For relief, pour the warm water over any affected areas, dip the skin into it or make a warm compress to hold against the skin. Avoid cold water!

Here are some other important safety steps to take when playing with wax:

• Practice fire safety by not leaving lit candles unattended or using candles near curtains, tissues, hair products, textiles or other flammable objects. Always ensure the candle flame is entirely out before leaving the space. Get a small fire extinguisher if you don’t already have one.
• Lay down an old towel, sheet or even puppy pads to prevent spillage and staining sheets, rugs or furniture. This also makes for a super-easy cleanup afterward.
• Oil the skin beforehand for easier wax removal, and avoid pouring wax on hairy areas — unless that’s part of the fun.
• For candles that come in containers, blow out the candle before pouring so as not to heat the container and burn yourself or anyone else. Additionally, when first using candles in containers, allow them to burn for a while to avoid tunneling.
• For beginners, start by pouring wax on less sensitive areas first to get accustomed to the temperature. And remember: areas that are not typically exposed to sun will be more sensitive!
• Don’t forget aftercare. That can look like massaging aloe or cream into the skin after wax has been removed, giving cuddles or hugs, tickling or sweeping a feather against the skin, getting a glass of water or snack to regulate blood sugar, and other things that everyone involved finds supportive.

Wax play can be a win for everyone

The popularity of modern sex toys means that many shoppers probably come into your store knowing a thing or two about vibrators or lube, but wax play gets much less attention online. That means that for most shoppers, you and your staff will be their guides, so it is imperative that store employees are familiar with and comfortable discussing wax play products, and that your inventory includes a variety of wax play options.

Fortunately, there are many to choose from, including multiproduct sets that blend into any home decor. Shoppers also have the option of sexy candle shapes, like a curvy naked body bound in rope, or fun options like penis-shaped candles. Some wax-play candles are particularly creative, shaped like thorned vines or a rosebud. These shapes are likely to catch shoppers’ eyes with their attention-grabbing designs, even if they weren’t initially planning to make a wax play purchase. And because their price points are lower than your average vibrator, wax play products can be perfect add-ons or impulse purchases.

The more comfortable you and your staff are with wax play and the products designed for it, the better equipped you will be to increase sales in this category. Demonstrating that wax play can be enjoyed by almost anyone, kinky or vanilla, will translate to more erotic pleasure for your customers and higher profits for your store.

How to Explain Wax Play to Shoppers by Rebecca Weinberg originally appeared in XBIZ.