The prostate can be a source of incredible pleasure, and many say prostate stimulation gives them unusually intense orgasms that can’t be achieved any other way. Once considered taboo, anal penetration is discussed and enjoyed much more openly today and scores of magazine and internet articles tell readers it’s a must-try activity for people with penises, regardless of sexual orientation or gender. Prostate milking and pegging are all the rage with good reason, and with its surge in popularity, more people are looking for tips and tools to help them get the most out of prostate pleasure.

What and where is the prostate?

The prostate is a paraurethral gland found in people born with penises. Although these are generally men, trans women have prostates, too. It’s located roughly three to four inches inside the anal canal, and its primary function is reproductive. Prostates make some of the fluid in semen, which preserves the longevity of sperm cells and carries them out during ejaculation.

In a more casual and erotic sense, the prostate is an orgasmic powerhouse. Often compared to the G-spot, it can produce toe curling, full-body orgasms when stimulated properly. Some describe the feeling as the start of an orgasm that just keeps going and going.

How do I find the prostate?

For those new to prostate play, it’s sometimes best to explore the first time manually — that means using fingers. This way you’ll get a tactile feel for what you’re looking for. After you establish a roadmap, using prostate toys is a great way to really get the pleasure party going.

Before hunting for the prostate, sometimes called the P-spot, it’s important to reach a solid state of arousal first. Just like the G-spot, it needs warm-up to help it swell with excitement and make it easier to find with the touch of a fingertip.

If the person with the prostate is lying on their back, their partner should gently enter the anus with a well lubed finger. (If hygiene or fingernails are a concern, try wearing a well-lubed latex glove.) When the finger is three to four inches inside, curl it up toward the receiver’s belly to find the prostate, in a “come-hither” type motion. The gland has the give of a semi-ripe plum and sometimes has little ridges in it, like a walnut. Gently massage and rub the spot to heighten arousal. Some people enjoy prostate stimulation in conjunction with hand jobs and blow jobs while others prefer it a la carte.

What about prostate toys?

While the above method is perfect for partnered sexy time, that’s not always an option, especially when playing solo or maneuvering sex positions that make manual stim relatively impossible. For solo play, prostate toys are a must, and many prefer using them with partners, too. With toys, the receiver can change positions easily, and it’s also easier to incorporate other sex acts if one’s partner isn’t busy knuckle-deep in an anus.

This is important: only use toys specifically made for prostates. This is important for a couple of reasons: First, prostate toys need to have a very specific shape to reach the right places. Most prostate toys have a curved or bulbous end that mimic a curved finger. Second, prostate toys are made with flared bases so they won’t get lost inside the anus.

For those intrigued by being kept in an extended heightened state of arousal, there are cock-ring and prostate plug combo toys that keep the wearer’s cock erect and aroused while the other end rests against the prostate.

Lubricants

Lube is a must when it comes to anal play. When selecting the right lube, there are a couple of important things to remember: The anus is not self-lubricating; and it absorbs water. Silicone lube is often preferred for these reasons. Silicone has incredible staying power and won’t be absorbed by the body.

Some silicone toys, however, are not compatible with silicone lube. In those cases, a hybrid lube works nicely. If you opt to use water-based lube anally, choose something that is thicker and more viscous, making it longer lasting.

Prostate play can be incredibly erotic and may produce the strongest orgasms possible. It’s no longer taboo and is openly enjoyed by people from all sexual orientations and gender identities. If you or your customers are a little apprehensive about giving it a try, a little knowledge goes a long way. Follow these tips and enjoy the journey.

Discover the Orgasmic Powerhouse of the Prostate by Rebecca Weinberg originally appeared on XBIZ