Dry humping. Those two words probably conjure up memories of your high school day, back when grinding up against your partner, while fully clothed, was something to get all hot and bothered over. But, breaking news, dry humping isn’t just for horny teenagers in the backseat of a car parked behind the local supermarket. Dry humping is for all of us — no matter our age or sexual experience. And, in case you haven’t done it lately, you’re truly missing out.
What is Dry Humping?
Although the phrase is a bit misleading, because if you do it right there’s nothing “dry” about it, dry humping is the sexual act of rubbing your genitals against your partner’s genitals or other parts of the body.
Also known as outercourse or frottage (fancy sounding, isn’t it?), dry humping can be performed with your clothes on or off. Or, with one partner clothed and the other naked. Heck, you can even do it solo! The ultimate goal of dry humping is to get off without penetration — hence the reason why the word “dry” kind of throws the whole concept for a loop. If you rub your clit or penis just the right way, then things are anything but dry.
Benefits of Dry Humping
What’s great about dry humping is that it’s not just fun, but there are benefits to it too.
- Dry humping feels good.
When our genitals are stimulated, blood rushes towards them to engorge them, which leads to arousal. The more aroused you are, the more you’re likely to bump and grind against each other. Even if neither of you climax, just the stimulation of all that rubbing alone can feel really fantastic.
- You don’t have to worry about STIs.
Well, this has a bit of a caveat. If you’re dry humping with clothes on, which can be quite satisfying for both partners and orgasms can be reached, you don’t have to concern yourself with the possibility of getting STIs, or pregnant for that matter.
- You can learn about your body.
Whether it’s your first time drying humping or you’re a seasoned pro, there’s always room to learn more about your body. For example, although the exterior part of the clitoris is basically just a sneak peek at the whole enchilada, so to speak, people with clits have reported that one side of their clitoris is more sensitive than the other side. In other words, your clit can be a lefty or righty.
With some proper, intense dry humping, you might just catch the right part of your partner’s pants that hits that sweet spot and takes you to a new level of pleasure. The same thing goes with penis owners. Sensitive areas vary from penis to penis, and dry humping just might lead you to a new spot you didn’t even realize could achieve such pleasure.
- You can do it solo.
Any sexual act that you can do solo and score an orgasm out of is something worth noting. Frankly, anything is hump-able if you really try.
- It makes for great foreplay.
In a world where it takes vulva owners at least, emphasis on at least 20 minutes to become fully aroused, dry humping is perfect for extended foreplay. The more aroused each partner is, the better the following sex acts will be. And, no, those sex acts don’t strictly have to be intercourse. A hot dry humping session before oral sex is the type of thing that will blow both partners’ minds.
Risks of Dry Humping
As is the case with all good things, there are always risk factors. That’s just how the Universe works: You can’t have the good without some potentially “bad” stuff weaved in there. But, at the end of the day, it’s a fair trade when you think about it.
- Friction injuries.
Whether you choose to dry hump with your clothes on or even in just your undies, you run the risk of irritating the genital tissue. While you may not feel it at the time, as you’re totally engaged in your hot and heavy hump fest, afterward or even the next day you may feel some aching and even have some minimal friction burns — especially if you’re a penis owner whose penis is circumcised. The foreskin provides protection in many cases, and this happens to be one of them.
- STIs can be a concern.
While there’s no way an STI is breaking through two pairs of denim-clad partners, if you do strip down to your skivvies or decide to practice outercourse sans those skivvies (meaning naked), STIs then become something to worry about.
You don’t need to have penetrative sex to contract an STI from an infected partner or vice versa. STIs like herpes, HPV, trichomoniasis, syphilis (if there’s an exposed sore), and crabs don’t necessarily need to involve the exchange of bodily fluid to be transmitted; skin-to-skin contact is enough. So, before you strip down to naked dry humping, you may want to know each other’s STI statuses.
How to Dry Hump Solo
Since one of the major benefits of dry humping is that you don’t need a partner, not covering ways in which you can get the most out of your solo dry humping experience would be a serious disservice to you, dear reader!
Although we’re only going to cover a handful of dry humping techniques, it’s important to keep in mind that, as mentioned above, if it’s hump-able, then it works. Of course, since this is a sexual act, you want to keep your humping at home.
- Hands!
Your hands are magical, wonderful things that, if you’ve masturbated enough, they know exactly how to please your genitals. While in the past you may have stuck to the conventional methods of masturbating with your hands, like stimulating the clit or penis, you can actually use your hands when dry humping solo.
With your hand flat and palm up, you can grind your genitals against the surface of your palm. You can do this by laying on your back, on your stomach, or even standing. What’s so satisfying is that your palm covers a wider range of your genitals and the deeper you move your hips into your hand., the more intense the experience.
- Furniture and other household items.
Take a look around your home. Is there anything that couldn’t be used to get off? From pillows to chairs and couch arms, to the rounded end of a staircase banister, the washing machine while it’s on spin cycle, and so on down the line, when it comes to using furniture and other household items to dry hump, you practically have an endless supply of goods. Nothing beats straddling the arm of a chair and bringing yourself to orgasm.
- Lay-on sex toys.
If you want some buzz with your dry humping, then you definitely want to add some toys to the mix — lay-on sex toys, specifically are perfect for this and can be used in so many different dry humping techniques.
You can put the vibe on your mattress and grind up against it that way, or turn over onto your back, with the toy cupped in your hand and swivel your hips up and down as you hump it from this position too. Want to take another ride on the arm of that chair? Add the mini-vibe to the equation and you might just see fireworks when you climax.
Things to Consider When Dry Humping with a Partner
There are things to keep in mind when dry humping with a partner, especially if you want to avoid any sort of irritation to the genitals.
- Clothes.
While there’s no denying that the denim, in being a fairly sturdy fabric, is great for dry humping, there’s always a zipper or buttons with which to contend. Rub your penis or vulva the wrong way against any zipper, and it’s not likely to feel very good — it can also be a bit of damage to the exterior genital tissues. Sweatpants, which didn’t become sexy until we were all trapped inside during the first round of COVID, and similar soft fabrics are ideal for dry humping without worrying about tearing the genital skin.
- Underwear.
Underwear, too, is also a good option, as the fabric is soft and there’s still a bit of a barrier there if you’re trying to play it safe. Of course, if you have kinky underwear with any sort of metal or spikes on it, you probably want to save those for another sexual encounter. But also take into consideration the sensitivity of your partner’s genitals, as well as yours. Because sensitivity varies from person to person, what clothes might be an ideal complement for one’s dry humping sesh, doesn’t mean it’s the same for another person. But I think we can all agree that the spiked undies should be put on hold when it comes to dry humping!
Best Dry Humping Positions
Although statistically, doggy style is the most preferred position for intercourse, when it comes to dry humping, we’re in a whole other sphere.
- Straddling.
Straddling your partner while dry humping can really hit the spot, especially if you’re the one on top. Vulva owners, in particular, can use the pubic bone of their partner to grind their way to bliss. Penis owners, too, when straddling their partner can also thoroughly enjoy this position too, but it might involve a little bit of trial and error, especially if both partners have penises. In this case, straddling your partner’s thigh, stomach, or chest can send you over the top into Never Never Land.
- Standing.
Oh, hell yes! Although you definitely want a wall or something behind you to support you and your partner so you don’t go for a tumble, standing and dry humping were made for each other. As it gets more and more intense, you can pull in each other’s hips, so you’re as close as possible, and even lift the leg of the partner not against the wall, cradling it in your arm, giving you both more genital surface to dry hump. This is an exceptionally good technique for those who prefer more of an all-over stimulation of their genitals instead of just the penis head or clitoris.
- Missionary.
When it comes to dry humping, missionary is your best friend. As both partners push their hips into each other, stimulating their genitals, it’s an amazing position to be in — and great foreplay if you’re planning to follow up with some hot missionary intercourse.
FAQs and Myths on Dry Humping
Q: Is it true that only young people and virgins dry hump?
No way. While it may be an introduction to sex acts and sexual movement, it’s not just for young people or those who haven’t had any intercourse yet. People dry hump throughout their life. In fact, there’s probably an 80-year-old couple doing it right now.
Q: Can you get pregnant from dry humping?
It’s impossible to say, “No, absolutely not,” because stranger things have happened. But, even if you’re dry humping without your clothes on, the chances are very slim. Like, really, really slim. Like you probably have a better chance of winning the lottery type of slim, when it comes to possibly getting pregnant.
If your partner ejaculates during dry humping and, let’s say, a bit of it gets on your vulva or even in the outer part of the vaginal canal, semen that carries the sperm to fertilize an egg, needs a lot more of a push, so to speak, to get all the way up inside and reach an egg. It’s not as though sperm have legs and just waltz inside your vagina.
Q: Is dry humping only for vulva-owners?
Absolutely not. It doesn’t matter if you have a vulva or a penis, when you dry hump the genital regions are being stimulated. At the end of the day, a stimulated genital is a stimulated genital, and stimulated genitals are happy, aroused, and loving that dry humping action.
Q: Is it unnatural to prefer dry humping over penetrative sex?
When it comes to sex — all sexual acts — as long as it involves consenting adults, nothing is unnatural, weird, or whatever other negative adjective you want to throw into the mix. Pleasure is not experienced in only one way. What arouses one person, may have zero effect on another person.
When we start deeming certain consensual acts as unnatural, we’re feeding into a society that still holds archaic beliefs as to what sex “should” be and that’s unfair to all of us. Sexuality and sexual pleasure reside on a very long spectrum and no matter where you fall on that spectrum and what you need to get off is your business. If you’d rather dry hump instead of having penetrative sex, then that’s great! It means you know what you want, what you prefer, and what you find sexually pleasurable — and nothing about that is even remotely unnatural.
Dry Humping by Amanda Chatel originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz