Why Mutual Masturbation is Healthy in Relationships (and How You Can Try It)

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Contrary to one of the many popular sexual myths that pervade our anti-sex culture, masturbation does not stop (nor should it) once you’re in a committed relationship. There’s this weird AF notion that if you masturbate in a relationship, the relationship somehow suffers. Some people even consider masturbating cheating.

This is, to be quite frank, total horseshit.

Masturbating in relationships

Masturbation is not bad nor does it damage partnerships. In fact, studies have shown that masturbating in relationships can actually increase overall libido, leading people to more frequent partnered sexual play.

Masturbation, like pretty much all consensual sex acts, has its place inside and outside of relationships. And not only does it have its place, but it can also even spice things up between the two of you. Namely, when you masturbate WITH your partner.

Here is your complete guide to mutual masturbation, why it’s awesome, and even a few fun tips.

What is mutual masturbation?

It’s hot to watch your partner get themselves off. It just is. Seeing them pleasure themselves is like your own personal porno right there in your bedroom (or wherever you do sex stuff).

You get to see exactly how they like to be touched when they touch themselves and getting to be a part of that intense ecstasy is invigorating. You might even get a few ideas for the next time you fool around together.

Mutual masturbation keeps intimacy alive

Between work, family, friends, and other life commitments, you get exhausted. Masturbation shouldn’t be a replacement for all your sexual play, but it can definitely be on the menu when you’re too tired for sex.

Having sex is extremely important to relationship health. Again, people will say it’s not the most important thing, but that does not mean it isn’t of any import.

Instead of skipping sex, try mutual masturbation. You get to be together and have orgasms without all the effort of oral sex, hand sex, or intercourse. Your partner can lick or bite your nipples, you can make out during the session; whatever feels right. If you’d rather just lie back and both do your own thing, there is nothing wrong with that. The key thing is that you’re engaging in sexual self-love with the person you love. You’re sharing your erotic space, without having sex.

Just because you’re masturbating together doesn’t mean it isn’t intimate (and hot).

Mutual masturbation with sex toys

When it comes to using toys, mutual masturbation is a fantastic opportunity to get spontaneous and adventurous.

If your partner has a prostate, try putting in a butt plug or anal beads while they move their hand up and down their shaft. This gives them dual pleasure and ups the erotic nature of the whole experience.

And don’t forget, butt toys are not gender-exclusive. Every single person can enjoy a butt plug. Try putting in a butt plug while simultaneously using a wand vibrator on the clitoris. The sensations are out of this world.

Feeling vibration around the anus, clitoral hood, and shaft ignites the entire clitoral complex, from bulbs to wings, to glans. Talk about a toe-curling sexual experience.

Don’t forget the lube

Whether you’re masturbating, having intercourse, or performing analingus – lube is an essential tool for maximum pleasure. Lube offers a barrier between your sensitive nether regions and your toys. No one needs to burn their clit off with their vibrator on a maximum setting. Hard pass, mate.

When using butt toys, lube helps you slide your toys into place. A butt hole does not expand or lubricate naturally the way a vagina does. So, lube, lube, and more lube.

Be sure you are using a water-based lubricant with your silicone toys. As much as silicone and oil-based lubes are fun and slippery, they can damage your silicone and that is not fun for anyone.


Why Mutual Masturbation is Healthy in Relationships (and How You Can Try It) by Gigi Engle originally appeared on Anal Play 101

Using Self Pleasure to Tackle Chronic Pain

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Conversations about sex often focus on the fun and steamy side. That’s great! It’s also really important to talk about the not-fun parts of sex — the stuff that gets in the way of experiencing pleasure — and what we can do about it. For people who experience chronic pain, enjoying sex can sometimes be challenging.

What is chronic pain?

About 20 percent of individuals in the general population experience chronic pain of some kind. But how do you know when something is chronic pain and not just, well… pain? There are a few differences.

The definition of chronic pain is any pain that lasts for more than three months. The pain can be continuous or can occur every so often.

Additionally, humans tend to experience pain when there is imminent or actual damage to the body. These pain signals stop when the body is no longer injured or in danger of being injured. However, when you have chronic pain, these pain signals persist even when there is no immediate injury to the body. The pain may have originated with an injury, but chronic pain continues well past the initial damage and may last for months or years. Some of the more commonly experienced types of chronic pain are back pain, headaches, nerve damage, and secondary pain associated with a primary disease like cancer or arthritis. However, there are many types of chronic pain. You might experience chronic pain and not even know it! For example, chronic fatigue and recurring, severe menstrual cramps are both forms of chronic pain.

Chronic pain can be a real wet blanket on your libido…

If you suffer from chronic pain, you might find that pain negatively impacts your sex life. In fact, 50 to 80 percent of individuals with chronic pain feel that it causes problems in their sex life. Chronic pain can cause all sorts of obstacles to enjoying your sexuality. For example, certain positions may aggravate the pain. Pain might reduce your libido. Fear of experiencing pain may cause you to avoid sexual stimulation.

Chronic pain can also impact your self-image and how confident you feel in your own body. It can be difficult to feel sexy when you’re experiencing discomfort. These are all common feelings for people who live with chronic pain. In fact, between 35 and 40 percent of people with chronic pain stop engaging in any type of sexual activity at all.

Combating pain with pleasure

Despite pain acting as a barrier to sexual pleasure, sexual pleasure can also be a key for reducing chronic pain. You might already know that masturbation has the potential to reduce stress, improve sleep, and help soothe menstrual cramps, but did you know that self-stimulation can also help you to manage chronic pain? Yes please to more solo sex health benefits!

A few different studies, mostly conducted by Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk, have shown that when vulva owners self-stimulate the clitoris and the vagina, pain tolerance increases. This means that when you are experiencing sexual pleasure, you feel less pain. Whipple and Komisaruk showed that when masturbating, vulva owners’ pain tolerance increase about 40 percent. When those same vulva owners masturbated to orgasm, their pain tolerance increased 74 percent! These effects lasted throughout the sexual experience and for a few minutes after orgasm.

Not only can masturbation temporarily make you a pain-immune superhero but it could also help boost your confidence and actual sex technique. It’s really common for people living with chronic pain to worry about their own sexual performance and ability to orgasm. Here’s where masturbation is, again, a great tool. A 1991 study showed that women who masturbated had higher overall sexual satisfaction and ability to reach orgasm that women who didn’t masturbate. This may be because masturbation can help you to identify what sensations feel most pleasurable for you and it helps you to practice coming. This is a great time to stick to the philosophy that practice makes perfect.

Additionally, masturbation may help with managing the mental health side-effects of chronic pain. Chronic pain can cause depression because when you suffer from chronic pain, you are in a constant state of stress and discomfort. Up to 85 percent of people living with chronic pain also suffer from depression. Though research has not shown whether masturbation can actually cure or significantly reduce depression, we do know that orgasms release dopamine and oxytocin that help you to feel euphoric and good. This too could offer at least some temporary relief from the heaviness of depressive moods.

Try it out!

So how can you begin incorporating these concepts into your own sex life? A great place to start is with your own hands or with a sex toy that can adapt to your sensory needs in the moment.

If you experience chronic pain, particularly in the lower back and pelvis, certain types of sexual stimulation may be painful. You might have days when vaginal penetration feels good and can help to stimulate and reduce tension in internal pelvic muscles. However, there may be days when penetration is too intense and you prefer to concentrate sexual stimulation on the clitoris.

Experiment with different types of self-stimulation on your clitoris, vulva, and even the G-spot, to see what feels best for you.

Remember, learning to manage chronic pain is often a journey where you test out different strategies and find out what works for you. It can be frustrating when you’re looking for solutions and can’t seem to get the results you want.

Be compassionate with yourself and know that with time, community, and the right resources, it’s totally possible to increase your pleasure and build the relationship with sexuality that you desire.


Using Self Pleasure to Tackle Chronic Pain by Louise Head originally appeared on Rumble & Buzz by Le Wand

LELO Beads Plus Pleasure Set

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For those looking to improve their intimate needs, pelvic floor strength, and achieve longer, stronger orgasms, LELO Beads Plus offers discreet yet intimate strength training with six different weight combinations for improved sexual sensations. Bringing intimate strength training to a whole new standard…LELO Beads Plus has arrived.

Put your strength to the test with this luxurious set of six interchangeable weighted beads. Offering a greater variety of different strength training combinations, LELO Beads Plus gently vibrate kinetically in response to your body’s movements, helping you gradually achieve stronger, longer orgasms for enhanced pleasure.

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Get to Know Beads Plus

Discrete Pelvic Floor Fitness – Offers an efficient pelvic muscle workout when worn during a variety of activities such as walking, swimming –or even sitting. Using reflexive pelvic muscle contractions, a simple exercise routine can be followed consistently with minimal effort.

Longer, Stronger Orgasms – Experience heightened intimacy with beads that can be used for foreplay or strength training for better orgasms.

Effective, Self-Tailored Strength Training – Comprised of two 28g, two 37g, and two 60g beads for a variety of resistance training combinations that help build strength over time.

Added Variety of Strength Training Combinations – 6 weighted beads to choose from mean 44% more combinations

Extra-Soft Silicone – Ultra-smooth premium silicone that’s extra soft to the touch

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Features:

  • Kegel training set
  • 6 Interchangeable weighted beads fit into one harness
  • Comprised of two each – 28g, 37g, and 60g beads
  • Smooth design is incredibly easy to keep clean
  • Waterproof
  • 1 Year warranty and 10-year quality guarantee provided by LELO

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In the Box:

  • Silicone harness
  • 2 x 28 gr / 0.06 lb Beads
  • 2 x 37 gr / 0.08 lb Beads
  • 2 x 60 gr / 0.13 lb beads
  • Satin storage bag
  • Warranty Card
  • Manual

Body-safe silicone, ABS Plastic, Nylon string

Harness size – 3.5 x 1.3 x 0.6”

Bead size – 1.3”

Good Clean Love Rebalance pH-Balanced Personal Moisturizing & Cleansing Wipes

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Feel cleansed and refreshed with Good Clean Love’s organic, pH-balancing wipes.

Made with premium aloe and soothing botanical extracts, these biodegradable personal wipes help eliminate odor by supporting a healthy vaginal ecosystem post-workout, after an intimate moment or during everyday cleansing.

Use Rebalance to cleanse, refresh, and eliminate odor on the go. Daily use may help restore optimal pH and salt balance.

Rebalance Wipes are made without parabens, petrochemicals, or artificial fragrance.

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Key Ingredients:

  • Aloe Vera – Known for soothing properties, low-micro variety allows for low preservative levels
  • Calendula – Well-known for anti-inflammatory properties and believed to aid in relaxation
  • Organic Rayon – Compostable, biodegradable, and made from non-GMO fibers

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Features:

  • Individually wrapped personal wipes for convenient on the go freshening
  • pH Balancing formula
  • Accurately matches healthy vaginal pH levels
  • Fresh botanicals
  • Formulated for daily use
  • Microbiome-friendly
  • No parabens, petrochemicals or artificial fragrances
  • Includes 12 individually wrapped wipes

She-Ology 5 Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set by CalExotic

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Revitalize and strengthen vaginal muscles with the contoured She-Ology 5-Piece Wearable Vaginal Dilator Set.

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The uniquely designed 5-piece dilator kit is ergonomically curved and gradually sized to allow for gentle dilation.

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The premium silicone probes have a curved base for gentle insertion and stimulation, and have a spot to add your own mini bullet to aid in blood flow and muscle relaxation.

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The graduated set has been created to rejuvenate vaginal muscles and reduce insertion discomfort with every use.

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Use the small dilator to begin and as you gently exercise and increase the elasticity of muscles, advance to the larger probes.

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The hypoallergenic premium silicone is body safe, unscented and phthalate free to keep you most sensitive spots, happy and healthy.

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Features:

  • 5-piece wearable silicone dilator set for gradual dilation
  • Designed for comfort and easy mobility
  • May restore and revive vaginal strength and comfort
  • Unique, wearable design for comfort and easy mobility
  • Ergonomically curved for ease of use
  • Dilators may accommodate a bullet vibrator if desired (not included) to aid in relaxing the muscles
  • Dilator guide from Dr. Sherry included
  • May be used in or out of the water
  • Silicone
  • Dilator 1 – 3.33” x 1.18”
  • Dilator 2 – 3.12” x.97”
  • Dilator 3 – 3.02” x.85”
  • Dilator 4 – 2.96” x.74”
  • Dilator 5 – 2.67” x.53”

 

Good Clean Love BALANCE Moisturizing Personal Wash

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Good Clean Love’s gynecologist-recommended, daily use feminine wash helps cleanse, refresh and eliminate odor while maintaining optimal vaginal pH levels.

Free of artificial fragrances, harsh soaps and parabens, Balance gently cleanses while moisturizing and soothing sensitive intimate areas.

Key Ingredients:

  • Aloe Vera – Known for soothing properties, low-micro variety allows for low preservative levels
  • Lavender – A calming and soothing scent, frequently used to address symptoms related to women’s reproductive cycles
  • Calendula – Well-known for anti-inflammatory properties and believed to aid in relaxation

Features:

  • Moisturizes dry & irritated skin
  • pH Balanced
  • Utilizes patented, Bio Match pH-balancing technology
  • Fresh botanicals
  • Formulated for daily use
  • Microbiome-friendly
  • No parabens, petrochemicals or artificial fragrances
  • 2 oz tube

Aneros MGX and Eupho Syn Trident Series

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In 2002, Aneros released the world’s first hands-free prostate massager, an anatomically-configured product specially balanced to work in harmony with a user’s contractions. In the years since, millions of men have been introduced to the concept of prostate pleasure and the wonders of the Male G-Spot orgasm.

In late 2017, they released the Trident series. These devices introduced MAMA balancing architecture and a new arm configuration that demonstrated a tremendous improvement in product performance.

The public response in 2018 was overwhelming, making it clear a milestone had been reached. Going forward, Aneros will be incorporating these design elements into their existing product line as well as our new products, establishing a new standard now and for years to come.

May we present – The MGX and Eupho Syn Trident Series


Aneros MGX Syn Trident Series

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When it was first launched, the MGX introduced the world to the phenomenon of male G-spot orgasms. Widely praised for its balance of responsiveness, moderately focused prostate stimulation and enhanced anal sensations, for over 17 years, the MGX has been one of the most popular Aneros products.

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Today Aneros proudly presents the MGX Syn Trident, the synthesis of the MGX prostate massager, the newest Trident series innovations and the comfort of Aneros’ most luxuriant velvet touch silicone yet.

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Design Features:

  • Ribbed stem for more defined anal stimulation
  • Modified arms and tabs for superior external stimulation
  • Made with FDA Approved Phthalate Free Materials

Additional Info:

  • Moderately focused stimulation with the utmost comfort
  • Specially balanced for greater responsiveness
  • Recommended for new users for solo and partner play

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Product Specs:

Tip Width: 0.8”

Mid-Ridge Width: 0.98”

Stem to Perineum Distance: 1.6”

Insertable Length: 3.7”

 

 

 

Aneros Eupho Syn Trident Series

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Introduced in 2013, the Eupho Syn was quickly recognized by experienced users as the “Ultimate Aneros” for its ability to produce complex sensations with maximum responsiveness and comfort.

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Today Aneros proudly presents the Eupho Syn Trident integrating the Trident series innovations with their most luxuriant velvet touch silicone yet.

The Eupho Syn Trident’s specially balanced curves provide even more precise control and increased mobility for experienced solo users. Its smaller profile is also perfect for those new to prostate play combining the utmost comfort with freedom of movement during sexual intercourse for longer more powerful orgasms.

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Design Features:

  • Slim profile for easy insertion
  • Precision contoured for maximum responsiveness
  • Modified arms for superior external stimulation
  • Made with FDA approved phthalate free materials

Additional Info:

  • Subtly focused stimulation with supreme responsiveness
  • Uniqely balanced for superior internal mobility
  • Modified arms and tabs for superior external stimulation
  • Excellent for experienced solo user

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Product Specs:

Tip Width: 0.7”

Mid-Ridge Width: 0.98”

Stem to Perineum Distance: 1.7”

Insertable Length: 3.9”

Wellness Dilator Kit by Blush

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The Wellness Silicone Dilator Kit by Blush Novelties is carefully crafted for your comfort. It was created to improve intimate experiences and sexual health.

Each vaginal dilator in this affordable 4-piece kit features a straight shape and rounded tip to avoid cervical irritation.

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With 4 differently sized dilators, starting at only 0.5 inches width, the Wellness Kit lets you start small and move upward in size whenever you feel ready.

These dilators’ heart-shaped bases are a cute, playful touch! Plus, the satin smooth silicone feels luxurious to the touch. Use with your favorite quality water-based lubricant for easier insertion.

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Made of 100% platinum cured silicone, the Wellness Dilator Set is hypoallergenic, non-porous, and easy to clean.

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Features:

  • Contains 4 dilators increasing in size
  • Straight shape
  • Rounded tip
  • Satin Smooth Finish Deliver Maximum Comfort
  • Hygienic and easy to keep clean
  • Contains no fagrances, phthalates, paraffins, or latex
  • Silicone
  • Dilator 1 – 3.5” x 0.5”
  • Dilator 2 – 4.75” x 0.75”
  • Dilator 3 – 5.5” x 1”
  • Dilator 4 – 6” x 1.25”

Kegel Training Sets by CalExotics

Kegel Training Sets by CalExotics

Squeeze. Relax. Repeat.

The fruit-themed Kegel Training Sets by CalExotics offer 3 different silicone-coated configurations of weights to exercise your PC muscles.

Lemon offers 2 double strands, Mango has 3 tapered elongated balls, and Strawberry includes 6 rounded balls with tapered tips.

Pick the one that’s right for you, create a progressive training program that fits for your level of progress, and squeeze-relax-repeat your way to a healthier pelvic floor.


Lemon 2-Piece Kegel Training Set

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Revitalize and strengthen your kegel muscles with the unique 2-piece Lemon Kegel Training Set.

Give your pelvic floor muscles the training they have been craving with 6 gradually weighted exercisers to gently increase exercise intensity and sexual pleasure.

While the dual weights work to increase sexual arousal, they gently tone and strengthen pelvic muscles. By working those key love muscles, you reduced the risk of pelvic floor disorders or incontinence, while increasing erotic pleasure.

The single kegel weights are made from a hygienically superior silicone. This body safe material is unscented and phthalate free to keep your most sensitive spots happy and healthy.

The 2-piece set includes a 60 g and 100 g and a full workout routine.

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Silicone

3.75″ x 1.25″ Excerciser

7.5″ x 1.25 Overall

 

Mango 3-Piece Kegel Training Set

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Revitalize and strengthen your kegel muscles with the unique 3-piece Mango Kegel Training Set.

Give your pelvic floor muscles the training they have been craving with 3 gradually weighted exercisers to gently increase exercise intensity and sexual pleasure.

While the petite weights work to increase sexual arousal, they gentlly tone and strengthen pelvic muscles. By working those key love muscles, you reduced the risk of pelvic floor disorders or incontinence, while increasing erotic pleasure.

The single kegel weights are made from a hygienically superior silicone. This body safe material is unscented and phthalate free to keep your most sensitive spots happy and healthy.

The 3-piece set includes a 45 g, 60 g, and 75 g weight and a full workout routine.

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Silicone

2.25″ x 1.25” Excerciser

5.5″ x 1.25″ overall

 

Strawberry 6-Piece Kegel Training Set

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Revitalize and strengthen your kegel muscles with the unique 6-piece Strawberry Kegel Training Set.

Give your pelvic floor muscles the training they have been craving with 6 gradually weighted exercisers to gently increase exercise intensity and sexual pleasure.

While the petite weights work to increase sexual arousal, they gently tone and strengthen pelvic muscles. By working those key love muscles, you reduced the risk of pelvic floor disorders or incontinence, while increasing erotic pleasure.

The single kegel weights are made from a hygienically superior silicone. This body safe material is unscented and phthalate free to keep your most sensitive spots happy and healthy.

The 6-piece set includes a 45 g, 60 g, 75 g 90 g, 105 g and 115 g and a full workout routine.

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Silicone

1.75″ x 1.5 Excerciser

5.5″ x 1.5″ Overall

Oh K 24K Gold Plated Kegel Balls from the CG Collection by Classic Brands

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Kick your kegels into high gear with Oh K Pleasure Balls. 

Designed for the seasoned beginner and beyond, these weighty balls are a fun way to strengthen your pelvic floor, help improve muscle control and enhance orgasms.

Each carbon steel ball weighs in at 1 oz and is finished with 24K gold plating that’s chip, crack and peel resistant. Keepsake pouch included for storage.

Directions: Apply lubrication to balls. Lay down and gently insert ball or balls into vagina. Tense kegels to hold balls inside. Practice alternating reps of tense and hold and relaxing the muscles for optimal results. Sit up or move around depending on muscle strength and ability. Relax vaginal muscles to remove. Clean toy with soap and water and/or antibacterial toy cleaner before and after use.

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Features: 

  • 24K gold plated carbon steel balls
  • For use in kegel training
  • Ideal for the seasoned beginner and beyond
  • Designed for enhancing pelvic floor muscles for greater control and stronger orgasms
  • Chip, crack and peel resistant
  • Keepsake pouch included for storage
  • Made in USA

Total circumference: 0.75″ (19mm)

Weight: 1oz (28.5g) per ball.